Monday, May 12, 2025

So…what are you doing the next 3-6 months? How about getting a new body?

Many years ago, after going through some life changing personal loss and very difficult experiences that changed my life, I got a crazy idea and started training for a triathlon. I was completely sedentary at the time. Had been so for many, many years! 


I started in March, and my first tri was in June. I trained HARD, running 5k, swimming 1/2 mile and biking 13 miles daily (can you say overtraining???). I lost about 12-13 lbs by the date of my tri. I did the tri, came in 1st for women in my age category, and took pics along with my trophy. I was still quite fluffy even though my legs and torso were thinner. I quit training although I continued biking. The weight loss leveled off but continued slowly, with me eventually losing a total of about 30 lbs over a period of seven-ish months. But what was amazing was my body got significantly thinner and fitter MONTHS AFTER my intense training. I lost that fluffy look. I became fit, toned and sleek. I learned a couple things from this experience:


  1. Overtraining is counterproductive. You increase risk for injury, your body struggles to keep up with the intensity, and ultimately you end up feeling ragged, run down, and you simply can’t keep up with it long term, increasing the risk that you quit completely.
  2. Moderate training gives your body the stimulus to do all the biochemical changes required to reshape and rebuild your lean body mass - this includes losing fat while building your muscle, bones and connective tissue, all of which are stimulated to grow through exercise. 
  3. Body recomposition takes time and consistent effort. You will continue to see body shape improvements even when the scale is not budging. Arms and legs getting leaner and more defined. Butt no longer sagging. And best of all, your torso becomes smoother and slimmer with less roly poly pudge.
  4. Muscle building happens very slowly. You can only put on about 1-2 lbs of muscle a month for men and half that for women. 
  5. But don’t despair because fat loss is happening at the same time. As the fat decreases, your muscle becomes more defined. This is actually very good news. Fat is fluffier, taking up twice as much space as muscle. So as your volume decreases by eliminating fat, the underlying tissue becomes firmer, more defined and half the size of the same weight of fat. You are literally decreasing your body volume exponentially. Win-win!
  6. You can’t lose weight by exercising and then rewarding yourself with food. The intense workouts I was doing when training for my tri was burning around 1000 cals/day. For 3-1/2 hours of intense, often painful exercise (I HATE running!) A typical one hour aerobic workout burns about 350 calories if you are working hard. If you are walking, it’s more like 200. Your body’s metabolism is probably somewhere between 1800-2500 calories a day (or more!). There are 3500 calories in one pound. It is literally impossible to lose weight if you reward a 350 calorie workout with a 350 calorie treat (ice cream eaters beware!) So if weight loss is part of your goal, have some eating guidelines in mind to either focus on your macros or total calorie intake each day. Either approach works. 
  7. And if you go the calorie reduction route, do not decrease your calories more than 250-350 per day. Otherwise, as you lose weight, your body’s internal fatness monitor, your basal metabolic rate, will decrease as well, meaning you cannot go back to your pre-dieting calorie level without gaining the weight back. I recommend focusing on macros and decreasing your carbs to less than 100 g per day. Get below 50 if you can. And if you want to do low carb, plan on staying under 20. That’s one salad, some cheese, some dressing, some onion with your steak or burger, maybe a few nuts on your salad. Little bitty baby carbs count too and they add up quickly over a day.
  8. Regardless of whatever your goals are when you set out to exercise and/or lose weight, rewarding yourself for your good choices is important. Just don’t make the mistake of rewarding yourself with food. You want to know one of my most helpful rewards? Buying a new outfit at a resale shop. Didn’t cost me much, but I loved picking out and wearing something new-to-me to put on my new, smaller, fitter body. 


So give yourself time to see the improvements. It’ll take 3-6 months to make big changes. Take it in one week increments. 

*Focus on what you plan on doing THIS WEEK. 

*Create a schedule for when you are going to exercise based on your commitments this week and repeat weekly. 

*That’s really all it takes.

After 3 months, you’ll be thrilled. After 6 months, you’ll be simply amazed at what you can do. I was biking for four hours in four months at 15 mph. From a completely sedentary lifestyle. 

And let’s not even get started on the incredible, life-giving changes that happen to your health, your energy level, your desire to get out into the world and enjoy yourself! Exercise increases life satisfaction, self esteem, and peace of mind. You think clearer, you feel younger, and you find yourself excited to do things you haven’t enjoyed without aches, pains and groaning for years: 

*Standing or dancing at a rock concert

*Walking through an art fair, a museum, a park, the woods, the zoo - literally anywhere your feet can take you!

*Cleaning house, car, or yard work without getting winded, having to rest, or even give up because it’s too exhausting.

*Nature hikes or camping

*Swimming and actually enjoying being in your bathing suit. 

*Riding your bike though the countryside or along a river.

*Downhill skiing without back aches or a long night of binge eating and drinking in the lodge to comfort you after all that effort. 

*Getting through your Saturday or Sunday without that afternoon nap.

*Living without the after-eating sleepies hounding you. 

*No more nodding at your desk after lunch. 


The benefits of a fit lifestyle are endless. And starting can be as simple as putting on some walking shoes. I was a child when my Aunt Mabel met a woman who she’d seen walking in the apple orchard and corn fields near her home. She became a family friend and was called Walking Judy. She was hundreds of pounds overweight when she decided to just start walking. Over the coming months and years, this woman who had been morbidly obese became a thin woman. She gained many friends through walking. Her life completely changed.

So let me ask you… Where would your body be today if you’d started working out three months ago? Remember, fat loss and body recomposition isn’t Amazon. You don’t order it today and get it two days later. Our bodies are amazing machines when we give them time to do what needs to happen. So get out there and amaze yourself, your friends and your doctor! Best wishes and much success to you!

Saturday, May 03, 2025

Karma is a bitch, but what is her name?

“Even chance meetings are the result of karma.”* Who’s karma, I’d like to know. I never purposely did anything to hurt others even when they would hurt me. And there were many who did hurt me, even as a young child. I was easy to manipulate, and I tended to be somewhat isolated from others, always. That’s what happens when you discover very early that people can’t be trusted. It seems that has been the lesson of my life: don’t trust others. They will take advantage of you. They will hurt you. Be isolated, and you will stay safe. Karma has never been in my side. I wonder what I may have done in previous lives that this one would be so painful. I must have been a very bad person, indeed.

If this is true - and why should I not believe it? - what can I do other than try to manifest good things in my life from here on out, do good things for others, but make some positive karma out in the unknown power of our fates?

And yet, if anything were to give me bad karma, that would surely be it. Doing good just to save myself from the unknown history of deserving the misfortune of my life. What could possibly be my answer then? If I’d like good things to manifest instead of the horrific experiences of my life?

I think I’ll take an inventory of the good and bad in my life, look at how I manifested each thing, and see if I am once again putting a responsibility on myself for something someone else is responsible for. Because I cannot forget that I did not choose this. He did. And therefore, if there is bad karma to come from it, he owns it, not me.

*Quote of a quote in Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murukami.

Friday, May 02, 2025

Inner Scars

Anais Nin // “Why did I feel warmed by imperfections, discomfort, and patina? Because intense living leaves scars…inner scars, softened, human wear and tear.”

The quicksands of grief

“It's dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly... Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them...throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you...trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That's why you must walk so lightly...on tiptoes and no luggage...completely unencumbered."

~Aldous Huxley, from “Island”

Thursday, May 01, 2025

Growing

With clarity comes release. At least with toxic, horrific experiences. He won’t apologize, he won’t make anything right, so my choices are accept it or not. Period. No other choices.

But I think I found a way round the end. To find healing while not forgiving. Because not forgiving him is crucial to me feeling like I had some effectuality on the way all of this turned out. I can’t sacrifice the rest of my life to his judgement and disregard of me. I have to establish my own sense of humanity and goodness over and in opposition to what he has done to me.

I have come to a place of peace about never forgiving him. It is my protection against him ever coming back into my life. And it is how I’m establishing that I never deserved any of it. To forgive him is to validate his rejection of me. I will never validate that. I was wonderful to him. Not a perfect person, as this does not exist. But an honest, loving, compassionate, and forgiving person. On top of being fun, funny, sexy, and sparkily funky, I was also great in bed. What the hell was he thinking?

It’s taken me two years to get here. Two years of crying over him. Thinking I could do something to redeem myself. Reality is, no redemption was needed. He broke down. He couldn’t function in a normal, healthy, loving relationship. Not troubled. Not difficult. Just normal.

Someday there will be someone else. Someone I adore. Until then, I’ll just be me doing all my me stuff. Bonhauer avec moi.