Gimme Life part deux

To tell the truth, I've been down. Not writing on the blog has been part of that. Not being able to talk to my best friend is part of that. And with my grandmother dying last week, I have been doing a lot of thinking about how I'm living.

Grandma loved it when I would post to my blog. Of course her favorite posts were the ones with pictures of the kids or cute stories highlighting what *unique* and *vibrant* children they are. But regardless of what I wrote, she was a fan and loved to post comments chiding me about my polarized world view. I loved that about her! But...life got busy, and our computer at home had a virus, so I just quit posting. And then Grandma died. I looked back at her last post to my blog: "Pleeeeeeease update!" Drawn and quartered in my soul, I was. Guilty. Bad. Neglectful. Dare I say selfish?

I don't want to lose another person in my life having to wonder if they knew how much they meant to me. I don't want to let go of things that bring meaning to my life just because I haven't gotten the upstairs bathroom cleaned and *should* get the work done before having fun.

Life is about LIVING. About experiencing life. I'm so caught up in whether or not I've sorted through every paper in each child's back-pack that I'm letting important things go in my life. Like relationships. Like my writing. And this blog is an important part of how I am developing my writer's voice. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is.....this blog is here to stay, bunnyjo fans! Now...if I can just get my pisse et vinaigre back.....

Gimme life

For the first time in my overly-loquacious life, I am facing writer's block. There is a huge difference between talking and writing, by the way. I once bought a book called, "If You Can Talk, You Can Write." It was full of journaling exercises where I would write whatever was on my mind, and I found that 90% of the time I covered the same ground repeatedly. Since that time I have become sharply aware of my gerbil-on-an-exercise-wheel pattern of thinking. And my redundant, over-used analogies that show an extreme lack of creativity. Actually, it is mental laziness. Just sayin.

So, how about a useful bit of information?

I don't have any.

How about an update on my interview process?

I met with the General Manager again on Friday, but I am still waiting to complete my peer interview. Hopefully it will be tomorrow or shortly thereafter. It would be nice to have *some* sort of resolution. One way or the other.

Grandma,

It is so hard knowing that you will never post to my blog again or that I'll never see an email from you again. Knowing that you won't be at my wedding, you'll never be able to meet Chris or Brandie or see our beautiful house. I'm going to miss playing Balderdash with you, singing around the campfire, the many special times we spent together sitting on the porch talking. You meant so much to me, Grandma, and I am so sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. You have taught me so much about how to be a woman and how to be a wife. Thank you for showing me how to love and appreciate a man, how to truly admire him. Thank you for all the things you did for Kady and I; all the sewing projects, decorating the bassinette, encouraging me no matter how sick or discouraged I got. You taught me so much, Grandma, and my life would not be what it is today if you hadn't been such an important part of my life. I love you, Grandma, and look forward to seeing you again one day when we can all be together with Kady and Grandpa Leslie and Laura. What a reunion it will be! Until then, Grandma, I will be loving you and missing you with all my heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you gave me.

loving you,

Laura

The rest of the story

Here's a quick update for all my *faithful* fans. The second interview went like a breeze, although I must say, I was asked some rather tough questions. But, as always, Miss Bunnyjo was quick on her feet and wowed the prospective employer. As such, she was invited back for a third round of interviews!

The bad news, however, is that my third interview was supposed to be on Wednesday morning. As I arrived in Holland, I discovered a voicemail on my phone saying that the woman I was scheduled to meet with that day had called in sick. My third interview was moved to next Wednesday morning. Ugh!

In other news, I was nearly fired last week over an incident that will forever remain in my mind as The Great Post-It Note Incident. I am now prohibited from ever using a post-it note. Ever. They were surreptitiously removed from my desk while I was at lunch and, just in case I wanted to replenish my stash, removed from the general office supply stock. I now have to tear off little strips of paper and paperclip them to pieces of paper when a post-it note would have brilliantly sufficed. I am reduced to strips of paper and paperclips while the rest of the office plants brightly-colored sticky notes like so many wild flowers sprouting up everywhere. And I have to like it.

Which only makes me more determined to get the radio job. Nothing like back-handed office politics to make a body wish for more pleasant surroundings, I'll tell ya.