Sunday, March 27, 2005

The Eggs Have It

I went to church today and for some reason, pastors find it necessary to pontificate extensively on Easter Sunday. Part of it is that they always have their largest audience on Easter, so no doubt they want to impress. You know what would really impress me on Easter? A 15 minute sermon.

So, I decided that some day, if I become a pastor, I will make sure that my sermons are never longer than 15 minutes. Because, you know what? One thing I know about Christianity and this is it: everything you need to know about God you learned in Sunday school the first day. Christianity is simple. It's being good that gets tricky.

And I must face the bold fact: I am a good girl with compulsively naughty tendencies. Give me a rule and I'll surreptitiously break it. Give me a guideline and I'll try to find scenarios it doesn't fit. Give me a commandment, and I'll pretend you are the Team Leader and I'm the Senior Sales Rep. Senior Sales Rep beats Team Leader every time. So there.

No, I'm certainly too naughty to be a pastor. But it'd be interesting if I were, wouldn't it?

Saturday, March 26, 2005

The Miscellany of Me

We have one chance, once chance, to get everything right. And if we're lucky, we might. My friends, my habits, my family, they mean so much to me.

Today the millions cry...We eat and drink while tomorrow they die.

It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy.

Saw a hundred thousand blackbirds just flyin in the sky. They seemed to form a teardrop from a blackhaired angel's eye. That tear fell all around me, and it washed my sins away. Now everything is cool. Everything is ok.

Ain't no republicat, no demmican, ain't nothin in between. I'm sick of people talkin about American dreams. That's all gone, ain't nothin there for me.

The world's got me dizzy'd think after 33 years, I'd be used to the spin.

I'm just a girl in the world...that's all that they'll let me beee.....(living in captivity).

Forgive me, my friend. Did I forget to mention that the path that you have chosen is paved with your intention? Just need to yell: I wish you well on that straight line on the road to hell.

I swear that I don't love you for the way that you leave.

Bite my lip and close my eyes, take me away to paradise.