I swear to God, I am losing my effing mind. Ok, I'm a pretty tech-savvy individual. I know my way pretty well around a computer. There isn't a piece of software I can't run from moment 1. It's just intuitive to me. BUT APPARENTLY NOT ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, so I wanted to save money on the wedding. Why spend hundreds of dollars on invitations, I said to myself. I'll just go down to where-the-hell-ever and get some make-it-at-home on the old computer type invitations. You wanna know why it's worth hundreds of dollars to have them professionally printed? Because if you don't, you'll spend hours trying to fix the glitchy wizards or Word templates that came with your damn invitations. And once you have them all jack-ass printed, then you can spend another couple hours putting them together with miniscule squares of ultra-sticky stuff, tying ribbons and trying to attach stupid monograms with a tub chain. You know, the silver little balls connected with the thin wire that you shove through that oval thing? Think old-style tub stopper that was attached to a little ring...oh, forget it.
So that is not the worst of it. How about this? We buy an external burner for our laptop. We buy 20 effing CDs of the correct type. I buy over 100 songs on i-tunes because supposedly you can burn CDs right from i-tunes that will play in any CD player. WRONG!!!!!! It didn't play even on my computer!!! So, I read the manual that came with the burner and I sift through the shit-for-brains i-tunes knowledge center to no avail. What happened, you dare say? Every BRAND NEW CD I put in the burner popped back out with a message: Insert blank CD. KILL!!!!!!!!!! Not to be discouraged (HA!!~~ I NEARLY LOST MY MIND THEN!!) I get an m4p to mp3 converter to convert all those GD i-tunes songs. Done. It only took an hour and a half for 22 songs. Then, I open Windows Media Player and try to burn the kick-in-the-pants CD. What happens?
THE EFFING THING TOLD ME TO INSERT A BLANK CD. HOW MUCH MORE BLANK CAN YOU GET THAN A BRAND NEW EFFING CD!?!??!!??!!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?
I am never saving money again.
9 comments:
OH AND NOW MY EFFING BLOG IS DOING IT. NO MATTER HOW MANY RETURNS I PUT AT THE END OF MY PARAGRAPHS, WHEN I PUBLISH IT MOOOSHES THEM ALL TOGETHER.
WHERE THE EFF IS A SHOTGUN? THERE'S SOMETHIN THAT NEEDS A-KILLIN.
So hey, did you know the wedding is supposed to be in three days. Yeah. Doesn't give you much time to get those CD's figured out, does it? Too bad. Not much time for any of the four hundred or so things you surely have left to do either, is it? We'll still have music won't we? Hey, I could burn them for you.... course, you'd have to put them on a CD so I could copy them to my computer. Ooo... let's try that! Pretty good idea if I do say so myself. Man I'm a genius. Another thing you could do is load them into somebody's MP3 player and try to line it out to the sound system that's gonna be set up.
(that last suggestion was actually serious)
See ya day after tomorrow!
Whoa... why does your word verification thingy say FUray?
LOL (at the FUray..not the blog) well, that's funny too. I know how you feel, it happens to me every time I try to copy porn (kidding, I don't copy it or watch it, I just make it)
Laura, it's going to be ok. The songs you had picked out for the desert were great, but so will some disc that was premade. Mom said last night the music for the reception is DONE! YAY!
Now take a deep breath and I'm going to go get a drink :)
P.S. My word verifaction does not say FUjamie..thanks sis
Well....I finally got the CD to burn (although I think my computer is about to crash.) That's old news now, though.
The new news is that THE WEDDING WAS AMAZING, WONDERFUL, HEARTFELT AND ABSOLUTELY THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I hope to blog soon, but until I do, I have to say I have the best family in the world. Thank you thank you thank you for making my day so incredible. Jamie, you saved me from a nervous breakdown and the tenderness you had when you told me it was all going to be ok went right into my heart. I love you so much, sis! And Ray, you were great on the mike. I'm so glad I asked you to MC - you definitely added a touch of class to the ceremony and reception. And mom....you know just from reading this email that we wouldn't have had a reception with music without you!!!!! It was so much fun and even Brandie said it was better than any BucBlaster she's ever been to. To see everyone so happy and enjoying themselves and grooving out on the dancefloor made every bit of hassle or frustration more than worth it. As a matter of fact, it makes all that absolutely insignificant. I love you guys!
P.S. Am I the only one that noticed Jonathon was editing our song choices for the reception? Just wondering if I missed something or if I just imagined it. But I'm pretty sure I never heard The Hustle because I was looking forward to that and for sure Chris's song "Don't Lay No Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock N Roll" never played. Not that it mattered that much, people had fun, but I am just curious.
Congrats on the marriage. I wish you and Chris many happy years to come.
Two words.....KICK ASS describe the evening best, the wedding was the best I've been to and the reception was a blast! I am so happy that you wrote you're Grampa and got all of the Tulsan's to come. I agree totally about the whole "do it yourself and $ave!" horse poop, software rarely works in the manner that the box made you think it would work. If you get that shotgun I suggest targeting the smiling person on the front of the software box first, thoYse laminites featured as part of the marketing do a lot to sway my vote when deciding on a purchase. I have some photos of the wedding too, if we all post our favorites we should end up with quite a collection.
Yoob.
Not to rub salt into the wound but your blog will not allow you change the size of the comment screen, you have to scroll around in order to read the comments and leave one yourself.....The bytes and byts do not like you I guess.
Yoob
You know, at this point, all I can do is laugh. The byts and bytes most certainly do NOT like me as I'm having on-going glitchy stuff at work, as well. I'd say it is operator error (the coincidences are just too much) EXCEPT that the problems here are definitely network settings, NOT me!
Loved your pics, UB....I can't wait to post mine! Maybe tonight....I just got all the wedding stuff put away, the stacks of mail sorted and the piles of crap that have accumulated the last six weeks all taken care of. Back to normal life!
hurry up and post your pictures, I want to add them to my myspace.
and btw..you're welcome. It was the least I could do, I've never been happier for you.
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