Sunday, May 29, 2005

RX for the Star Wars Blues

Last week marked the end of an era for millions of light phaser-toting, drab garb-wearing, fake asthma-breathing Star Wars fans. As the faces of Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor passed between living walls of screaming fans at the premiere of the final Star Wars episode, I breathed an audible sigh of relief. Goodbye, Luke. May the Force be with you. And good riddance.

As a rather detached observer happily staking my claim on the sidelines of science fiction frenzies nation-wide, I watched the glut of media reports with quiet disdain. Although the whole concept of good people battling darker forces has its appeal, I find myself continually amazed at the lengths to which fans will go to declare their allegiance to the Force.

I heard a radio interview of one guy who'd been camping out in front of a California theatre for weeks so he could be twelfth in line to buy his ticket on opening night. I'm sorry, but all I could think of is, why couldn't he just wait and go the next night? I mean, he'd have to quit his job to do something like that!

Then, there was an old acquaintance of mine, grinning from the front page of a local newspaper, sporting his $500 and three-weeks-in-the-making Star Wars costume. I wish I still had his number. I have a really good use for that $500.

Obviously, I just don't get it. I'm not with the Force or on the light side or whatever it is Luke was always blathering about. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate one aspect of the Star Wars insanity. I can say I do appreciate the laughs in what would otherwise be more boring news about Iraq, the falling dollar and how business professionals can't get hired, but there are plenty of jobs in the service industry. Enough of that crap. Bring on the crazies.

But seriously, perhaps now that we have walked a mile in ol' Darth Vader's shoes, and have a sense of kinship with him despite the pure evil he became, we can happily go on about the more pressing business of American life.

So, for those die-hard fans hoping for the resurrection of Star Wars fantasies on the small screen, I thought I would indulge myself with some suggestions of how you can pass the time until the next blessed event.

*Invent a recycling process for the millions of Star Wars' Happy Meal toys that will be discarded a few weeks from now. There are people dying for want of an alternative energy source, you know.

*Create a living monument to the Star Wars tradition with the thousands of people who would rather quit their jobs than go see Star Wars the night after opening night. They could hold placards that read: "The Force will be with you if you let me work for food."

*Write a screenplay about a young man who saw the first Star Wars movie, became inspired and then grew up to fight the forces of evil in the world. Call it, "Mr. Bush Goes to Washington."

*Finally, if none of these ideas appeal to you, there is one last resort: Move out of your parent's basement, get a job, and instead of spending money on bills, save it for the special edition DVD collection likely to hit stores by Christmas. The Force knows, George Lucas' will need every dime of it to cover his special effects bills.


Mom said...

Mr. Bush Goes to Washington....I'm dying from laughter, oh quit, quit! Too much tickling is a form of torture you know....Abe Simpson said it first.....

DCveR said...

pendulous: aging breasts, there is no escaping this one, oh, wait, maybe I could say " in the absence of any interesting lady ", no, can't do that, I guess that would be way over the line, sorry, aging breasts will have to do.
bulbous: beauty concealed (it may seem weird,it may even be stupid, but tulips are my favorite flowers).
refrain: "stop it, you are terrible", although I am not quite sure whether this is my life-song refrain, I do listen to it all the time.
titan: one of the dogs from my childhood, Titan may be gone but it will never be forgotten.

Mom said...

"In the absence of any interesting lady..." ha ha...I finally got it...

the Dad. said...

Bunnyjo, you know, Luke Skywalker isn't in this new movie. I'm not one of 'those' fans, but, you're error is really hard for me to deal with.

bunnyjo georg said...

Daddyboy: I am aware that Luke isn't in the new Mov-eye, but he is closely associated with all things Star Wars, therefore my constant references to him. Also, he figured largely in the last Star Wars movie I sat all the way through. (Secret: I'm just not up on those new-fangled Star Wars people.)
DCvR: LOL! VERY nice definitions! I see you put some thought into them. I will spend some time just digging into your psyche a little with the responses you gave! May yield some interesting results!
Mom: I think Mr. Bush Goes to Washington was my favorite, too!

DCveR said...

Still digging? Huummm... please do share the results. I'll make you a deal: if you get the results right, you earn a prize.
Oh, but whatever you do, wash your hands after you are done digging.

bunnyjo georg said...

Why, Mr. DCvR, would that be a covert admission of something?

DCveR said...


Actually I was just kidding, though any digging brings up some dirt, no one is a saint!

Im so angry, Im so at ease said...

Iagree with you that the star wars thingey is overdue to the max, but when it comes to Iraq you should be ashamed of your boredom; its an inhuman attack, by inhuman politicians, wich cannot be backed up by the UN at any point. How can that be boring when you are the guys the politicians in the entire world is putting to blame? How can it be boring when you are putting the entire UN at stake? Was this not an issue on civilization itself and the civilized world? In my book the U.S. is the least civilized nation in the world today....

DCveR said...

Something weird must be happening with your comments.
Now, FYI there are some eighty books or so with star war novels, plus who knows how many e-books that have never yet been actually printed. Of all that only six books have been made into movies, so don't you think you're free of us sci-fi fans: you're not! Star Wars will stay around for a long time, you'll see.

bunnyjo georg said...

ISA, ISE: Anyone who knows me knows I am deeply passionate about how wrong the war in Iraq is, and how angry I am at the present administration for being a bunch of lying-ass greedy-guts. That comment was total satire, sir. Total satire.
DCvR: I will never be free of sci-fi fans as my step dad is one of the biggest sci-fi fans in the world. He eats, sleeps and breathes science fiction and science journals. And likes to make puns - that's his other hobby. Because of this, the truth is, I have a deep fondness for geek-heads, er...sci fi fans. :)
BTW, there is nothing wrong with my comments. My blog is being annihilated by my evil alter ego.