It's So Easy

Dear Readers,

When you are as gifted and fascinating as I am, you go about the world with a strong sense of deservedness. For instance, I know that I deserve to be treated not only well, but extremely well. The world must compensate me for the graciously granted boon of benefiting from my presence. I prefer my compensation in cold, hard cash. Unfortunately for me, there are few places on this earth where I can both be treated extremely well and get cold, hard cash at the same time. However, as my enviable persona doth entail, I have found such a place on the earth: Charter Communications.

Now, before you gasp with shock and awe at my audacity in working for the monster, let me just say two things:
1.) This in no way changes my very strong opinion that capitalism is a vice that squeezes the life out of hard-working Americans to satiate the incredible greed of a very few (undeserving) people.
2.) While corporations rob the food out of starving children's mouths on a daily basis, once in while a corporation comes along who tries to do it right. Charter just may be one of those companies.

The list of benefits in working for Charter read like the demands at a AFLCIO strike: vision, dental, medical insurance, two weeks vacation, three floater vacation days, eight paid holidays, liberal attendance policy, two 15-minute breaks (paid) and one hour-long lunch everyday (employees could actually get in trouble for skipping a break), and last but not least, FREE digital cable with premium channels (HBO, here I come!) and HIGH SPEED INTERNET. But the list does not end there. Charter actually makes this a cool place to have to spend eight hours a day. They provide an X-Box just for fun and sponsor two charity competitions annually for Charter employees. There's also air hockey for those joy-stick challenged persons like myself. Or maybe basketball's your game. If so, you can shoot hoops, as well. They have several hi-def TVs with cable (of course) for our viewing pleasure. They provide three PCs to browse the net and get email while at work. They make fresh, hot popcorn and cookies for employees everyday to snack while they sip the free capuccino, coffee and hot chocolate that's provided. They have a cool break area that looks more like a cafe than a break room, complete with industrial-look hightop tables and stools. There's a quiet area with comfy sofas where people can study (or take a nap, if needed). There's a huge lunch room with great food (even a frozen-then-freshly-baked vending machine that doles out pizza, lasagna, french fries etc) and a cool look. You know, I could go on, but you get the idea. This is not just a place to work, it's a place to feel appreciated. And it is balm to my soul.

I'd like to say one other thing about Charter. I've worked for the corporate monster for a lot of years. The people that work for the corporate monster are stupid, dorky assholes, not exactly the kind of people you'd spend your free time with. Not so, Charter. For some reason (no wonder why), they attract some of the coolest people I've seen in an awful damn long time. There's a drummer from a local rip band sporting a bright blue spiked mohawk, a groovy singer/techno geek from a local band, a chick with pink and purple hair. The list goes on. And the people I've actually met are people I'd actually want to hang out with. They are fun and cool and creative and intelligent and witty. And you know what else? They aren't all stressed out and bitchy. I'm actually liking it here. I'm making friends, and it feels good.

One other thing: I'm actually getting paid to do what I've been paying good money to do for the last year: study and learn. Charter offers tuition and book reimbursement. When I look around me, I see a LOT of cool jobs here. With a little more schooling, I could launch myself into a rocking damn job making good money with a bunch of great people. How awesome is that?!?!