Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Reality Bites

Why is America so smitten with denigrating reality TV? There is some real quality programming that could quite accurately be described as "reality." For instance, take Nick and Jessica.

Alright, admit it. You tuned in to see Nick jeer at Jessica, call her an idiot. You salivated waiting for some post-honeymoon snuggling. You just knew one day Nick was gonna knock some sense into that blonde helium bubble. But that's not why you stayed.

You, like every other human on the planet, stayed because it was compelling television. Gripping. We watched Nick morph from a footnote tattooed on Jessica's epic ass to a real man. Installing pinball machines and plucking dead birds from the lawn. We ached with him when Jessica nixed the doggy he wanted just because the poop would be big. And we cheered him on while he valiantly tried to explain to Jess the mechanics of household finance: no, honey, we don't need $1200 sheets! And occasionally we were rewarded when Nick - god that he is - would take off his shirt while he manfully putzed in a golf place (green? Is that what it's called?)

Yes, our hearts sank within us the night Jess got sick making that commercial, knowing poor Nick would have to pick up the slack for her...yet again. She really pulls him down. She really does.

Now that Nick and Jess are no longer regular fixtures on our MTV, we are forced to greedily purchase and then inhale the sour stench of the tabloid stories about the deterioration of their otherwise happy marriage. How can Jessica be blind to the absolute treasure she married? How could she forget the time he um, did something nice for her when she was returning from a trip or something? Compelling TV has become compelling reading.

And so I wait. I know my day is coming. Jessica can't hold him forever. And then, girls, he's comin' home to mama. Yum.

18 comments:

DCveR said...

TV... oh, yeah that monitor-like-thingy where the DVD connects to.
Nah, I don't watch it. Lots of channels (we got cable, don't ask me why), nothing interesting.
Tabloids?! Nah, not me. Don't read'em either.
So, you were saying?
:P

Anonymous said...

Personally, I used to find the Simpsons was the best true-to-reality show around. My favorite of all of the reality shows though is Survivor, only because I'm jealous of those people getting to camp out on remote islands and eat a wide assortment of God's creatures, as well as the fact that they are allowed to vote people off their island. Wish I could do that to some people around me every now and then.

Anonymous said...

I want my 3 minutes back.

bunnyjo georg said...

Sorry, James, no refunds.

DCvR, I'm with you. Unfortunately, though, I'm now professionally feeding the monster. I work for Charter Communications (since yesterday) and am officially embarked on helping America watch MORE TV. However, unlike my former job in manufacturing, this is an industry that is likey to keep growing. At least in America.

WWiiGuy, I cut my wisdom teeth on the Simpsons, thanks to several Simpson fans (AKA family) residing in my home. However, I try to keep a distance between my premiere self and anything associated with drooling and burping. Just a little rule I have. :)

bunnyjo georg said...

Oh, one funny adjuct to my comment to DCvR, Charter actually has a motto - enriching life through cable. I thought I would choke on my tongue when I heard it.

As if!!!

Anonymous said...

Why I love nanny reality shows: Okay, I know its all about the editing. But those kids aren't faking, and hey, walk into any department store or mall and you know that this is REALITY for many families! Spoiled and screaming head-butting brats abound in today's society and I for one am transfixed by the behaviors/solutions. I love the nanny shows because they make me feel...hope. And I also feel smug because my kids were so good. Yes, even Jamie.

Anonymous said...

I only watch like 3 channels. Cartoons and MTV. I can't wait till I get my digital package because it has twice the cartoons and twice the MTV. I don't watch much TV tho, but with my brain that doesn't shut off at night so I need something "on" in the background. Keeps me from going bonkers. Bunny Jo I am your biggest fan I swear I am, but can I have my 3 minutes back too? Hee Hee.

Bonnie Blithe said...

Last night I watched "1940's House" by the BBC. A British family goes back in time to live during WWII in London.

H i g h l y recommended.

bunnyjo georg said...

Love, you Bonnie. Isn't it wonderful how great minds think alike?

:)

DCveR said...

Well, we have cable both here and in the US, and I watch some TV there… but I spend most of my time here, so if your “mission” is to make America watch more TV you won’t really affect me
:P

bunnyjo georg said...

But you'll still love me, right?

Anonymous said...

One of the best reality tv shows I ever watched was one called Frontier House. Okay, maybe that wasn't the name, but it was about real modern families who agreed to spend several months as pioneers on the frontier. Loved it! They weren't allowed any modern conveniences and had to work hard for food, warmth, and shelter. Nevertheless, the families managed to find fault with each other...the real hook was in watching how their modern day psyches coped with frontier day problems. For instance, one of the wives had a very modern liberated female attitude and she criticized and domineered her husband unmercifully to the point they did get a divorce afterwards. The husband pitted himself against the wilderness and grew himself a much more manly attitude. A very intriguing sociological and psychological experiment. The only bad part is that I missed a couple episodes and ate junk food in sympathy when I watched it.

DCveR said...

still?!

Anonymous said...

TV is bad! Boo for TV! Except 'Malcolm in the Middle', and CNN (or MSNBC when Don Imus isn't on), and the weather channel. And Nickolodean and Cartoon Network, for when we don't feel like interacting with our children. What? I'm just speaking truth.

Anonymous said...

Most annoying Reality Show I have seen is called "The 70's Game" or something like that on MTV. They beam 15 contestants back into this old style house and take away all their clothes and cell phones. They all have to pretend to be in the 70's. They kick you off the show if you talk about lipo-suction or anything modern. At random times pipped in music starts playing, bingo its The Hustle and everyone has to start hustling! LOL Only saw one episode, boy do I hope I miss the next 11.

Bunny Jo Fan

Anonymous said...

DON'T CLICK ON BUNNY JO'S FAN LINK....EWWWWWWWW

bunnyjo georg said...

Of course then I had to click it.

I'll say nothing and let you all judge for yourself. Me, I was fine. But I'm brave.

Anonymous said...

I clicked it and ewwwwww! Cool!