I am going to go out on a limb and tell you something that may make some of you very angry at me for even uttering the words. Are you ready? Here goes.
I'm a prejudiced, bigoted racist.
I didn't used to be. I was raised to accept people of different races and cultures and beliefs and to view them as just people with the same thoughts, feelings and desires as myself. Well, maybe not the same, but similar. You get my point.
Ok, then a funny thing happened. I moved to a highly racially-charged town. Now, I remember hearing about race riots occuring back in the early 90s, but that was a long time ago, and I pretty much figured that it was because of the Rodney King trial and had nothing to do with the town itself. Wow, was I wrong.
After living there for over two years, I can tell you that racial tensions are high because of the blatant bigotry and racism exhibited by the city council (raising their salaries, refusing to increase police patrols in “at risk” neighborhoods, kicking the last remaining black man off the city council, etc.) And because of the perceived racism by the "priveleged" class in town. It is almost a "I'll get you before you get me" mentality.
Now, not realizing the racial undertones in the community, I went about my business as I had always done. However, it did not take me long to realize that something was amiss. As groups of black middle school students would walk down my street, a tense silence was all that my cheery hello elicited. On one occassion, a black boy was scattering paper from a folder every few steps and had created a minor paper snow bank for over a block and a half. When he got to the area in front of my house, I said, "Hey, why are you doing that?" The other middle school kids that were with him ignored me completely, and he only looked at me with the utmost contempt before telling me, "Shut up, cowgirl." You can imagine my shock. I'm not used to kids acting like this!
Over the two plus years I lived there, I came to feel resentment and frustration as groups of young black kids roamed basically at-will throughout the neighborhood, harassing the younger kids, stealing anything that was left unattended in someone's yard, and raising general havoc. My house was hit with paintballs and eggs. My bike, Birkenstocks, basketball, and various other items were all stolen right out of my yard. My car was broken into twice. My children couldn't even go to the park that was in our neighborhood because of the large groups of unaccompanied minors behaving badly. I began to feel like a prisoner in my own home. I couldn't wait to get out of that town.
So, in the course of living there, I came to be prejudiced. I learned that young black kids had no respect for me. They would steal from me, ignore me, and tell me to shut up. They would vandalize my house. And in all of these interactions, parents were no where to be seen.
It wasn't just the kids. The adults were just as bad. I had a scary incident outside my home where a truck came to a screeching halt and tried to drag a woman into it. I called the police immediately and ran outside to see if I could help. The woman, who apparently knew the man, refused to acknowledge my offer for help and the guy jumped back in his truck and drove away. About fifteen minutes later the cops trolled on by in response to my call.
If I were black living in that town, I might resent the white people, too. After all, there's a long history there. However, I guess there comes a point where a person is responsible for their own behavior regardless of what other people might think about them based on the color of their skin. They don't have to roam unaccompanied or steal or sneak into my yard at night or yell profanities up and down the street or go by with their stereo cranked up and "nigga" being thumped out for all the world to hear. These are cultural behaviors that are being virtually ignored by the elder blacks in the community. I didn't see any black adults or parents correcting these kids or taking notice of their behavior. So, if the kids are this way, they'll eventually grow into adults and then how are they going to act?
I don't believe it is right to judge someone by the color of their skin. But when a particular race continues to act in a certain way, it becomes characteristic of that race. So now when I see a black person, I have certain expectations about their behavior based on these experiences. And because these experiences have been for the most part bad, my expectations are wary at best. And that, folks, makes me a bigoted, prejudiced racist.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
It's a Black/White World
With all the hype about MLK's birthday on Monday, there has been a lot of talk about race recently, and the conversation here in Michigan is probably more interesting than most. In November, Michigan voters repealed the Affirmative Action amendment to our state constitution, sparking huge debate over what really constitutes fair and equal. For those that are unfamiliar with Affirmative Action, it basically states that governmental institutions are required to hire or accept minorities in certain percentages thought to be representative of their population.
The proponent of the Affirmative Action appeal (and please forgive me, I've heard him in an interview as recent as earlier this week, but I can't remember his name) is a lawyer who represented a white female who was refused admittance in University of Michigan while minorities with lower grades and test scores were accepted due to Affirmative Action. It was not a question of scores 50 or 60 points lower...the scores were hundreds of points lower. Hundreds. Not only were their scores hundreds of points lower, but U of M actually had a completely separate application process for minorities. Instead of being presumptively handled as "assumed rejection" as all other applicants were, they were handled as "assumed acceptance." This meant that while non-minorities had to build a case for acceptance at U of M, minorities had to merely exhibit a pulse and proof of their minority status. Well, that is the way he made it sound, anyway.
To make matters even more insulting, he used Martin Luther King's own words to defend his stand against Affirmative Action, saying that because MLK dreamed of a time when his children would not be judged by the color of their skin, he would applaud the repeal of Affirmative Action as a step in the right direction of minorities being judged according to their accomplishments and not by the color of their skin. To me, that appears to be a deliberate distortion of MLK's intent: he meant that his people were being detrimentally judged by the color of their skin. Duh.
Now, even with Affirmative Action, the number of minorities attending such colleges as University of Michigan did not match the percentage of minorities in the population at large. So, even with Affirmative Action, there were simply not enough minorities applying to colleges. That, to me, is the crux of the issue. Affirmative Action applied to the college enrollment process made the correct assumption that standardized tests are racially homogenic - that is, the way the tests are administered, worded and graded favor the predominant cultural characteristics of white people. This happens to be true. How do I know? My children went to school with black kids, and my brother and I both taught black kids in Sunday school at church. Their culture is very different from ours, and the way the black children are taught to view the world and the way they interpret the world around them is considerably different from that of a white child.
By making that statement, I do not mean to say that they are less intelligent or less capable of learning the material. But what I am saying is that we teach and preach and write textbooks and devise learning strategies around certain cultural assumptions. For instance, we assume that the students will understand the highly anglo-saxon language. Well, guess what? Black people don't talk like white people with the consequence that many times, teacher lectures go right over the heads of their black students.
Another assumption related to the education of our students is that they will sit quietly and pay attention while the teacher goes through a lesson. In my experience, both in Sunday school and observing the classes my children attended at public school, this is something that is very difficult for the black children to do, probably because the lesson doesn't appear to relate to them when it is delivered in such a whitey-white way.
Given the cultural assumptions that go into creating a school atmosphere and curriculumn, it is not surprising that many blacks feel educationally disenfranchised in our public education systems and consequently, test lower than white kids. Does that mean that Affirmative Action was working? I really don't know. But I do know that black kids deserve an education as much as white kids do, and the lower academic standards applied to black college applicants to some degree offset the extreme cultural biases in our educational system. But is it fair? Well....probably not. The concept behind Affirmative Action is noble, but the application is flawed. But clearly there is a problem to be addressed, and eliminating Affirmative Action does not make the problem go away for the black population in Michigan. The conundrum it leaves us is that black people either need to conform to the anglo-saxon culture to get ahead (which is obviously not right nor likely to happen) or end up disenfranchised educationally and economically. At least, that is the way it appears to me.
If I were a minority, I can tell you right now I would be making a beeline for another state. It used to be Michiganders kept their racism carefully concealed under a sheen of acceptance and "Some of my best friends are black" declarations. Now, we appear to be saying, "Hey, you ARE black! I didn't notice before, but now that I do, it's back to old Jim Crow!"
The proponent of the Affirmative Action appeal (and please forgive me, I've heard him in an interview as recent as earlier this week, but I can't remember his name) is a lawyer who represented a white female who was refused admittance in University of Michigan while minorities with lower grades and test scores were accepted due to Affirmative Action. It was not a question of scores 50 or 60 points lower...the scores were hundreds of points lower. Hundreds. Not only were their scores hundreds of points lower, but U of M actually had a completely separate application process for minorities. Instead of being presumptively handled as "assumed rejection" as all other applicants were, they were handled as "assumed acceptance." This meant that while non-minorities had to build a case for acceptance at U of M, minorities had to merely exhibit a pulse and proof of their minority status. Well, that is the way he made it sound, anyway.
To make matters even more insulting, he used Martin Luther King's own words to defend his stand against Affirmative Action, saying that because MLK dreamed of a time when his children would not be judged by the color of their skin, he would applaud the repeal of Affirmative Action as a step in the right direction of minorities being judged according to their accomplishments and not by the color of their skin. To me, that appears to be a deliberate distortion of MLK's intent: he meant that his people were being detrimentally judged by the color of their skin. Duh.
Now, even with Affirmative Action, the number of minorities attending such colleges as University of Michigan did not match the percentage of minorities in the population at large. So, even with Affirmative Action, there were simply not enough minorities applying to colleges. That, to me, is the crux of the issue. Affirmative Action applied to the college enrollment process made the correct assumption that standardized tests are racially homogenic - that is, the way the tests are administered, worded and graded favor the predominant cultural characteristics of white people. This happens to be true. How do I know? My children went to school with black kids, and my brother and I both taught black kids in Sunday school at church. Their culture is very different from ours, and the way the black children are taught to view the world and the way they interpret the world around them is considerably different from that of a white child.
By making that statement, I do not mean to say that they are less intelligent or less capable of learning the material. But what I am saying is that we teach and preach and write textbooks and devise learning strategies around certain cultural assumptions. For instance, we assume that the students will understand the highly anglo-saxon language. Well, guess what? Black people don't talk like white people with the consequence that many times, teacher lectures go right over the heads of their black students.
Another assumption related to the education of our students is that they will sit quietly and pay attention while the teacher goes through a lesson. In my experience, both in Sunday school and observing the classes my children attended at public school, this is something that is very difficult for the black children to do, probably because the lesson doesn't appear to relate to them when it is delivered in such a whitey-white way.
Given the cultural assumptions that go into creating a school atmosphere and curriculumn, it is not surprising that many blacks feel educationally disenfranchised in our public education systems and consequently, test lower than white kids. Does that mean that Affirmative Action was working? I really don't know. But I do know that black kids deserve an education as much as white kids do, and the lower academic standards applied to black college applicants to some degree offset the extreme cultural biases in our educational system. But is it fair? Well....probably not. The concept behind Affirmative Action is noble, but the application is flawed. But clearly there is a problem to be addressed, and eliminating Affirmative Action does not make the problem go away for the black population in Michigan. The conundrum it leaves us is that black people either need to conform to the anglo-saxon culture to get ahead (which is obviously not right nor likely to happen) or end up disenfranchised educationally and economically. At least, that is the way it appears to me.
If I were a minority, I can tell you right now I would be making a beeline for another state. It used to be Michiganders kept their racism carefully concealed under a sheen of acceptance and "Some of my best friends are black" declarations. Now, we appear to be saying, "Hey, you ARE black! I didn't notice before, but now that I do, it's back to old Jim Crow!"
Monday, January 15, 2007
Check Up
Just in case any of you are wondering how I am doing on my non-resolution resolutions to get organized at home and at work....well, there's been mixed results. I have yet to clean out the utility closet or the front coat closet, however I have put away the Christmas decorations. Except the wreath which is still perched prettily over the fireplace. Oh, and the candle my mom got me for my birthday nearly started the damn thing on fire, but that's another story.
Work is perhaps a bit better. I have remembered some days to put my mileage on my daily planner. I think I've done that twice. I have also been putting papers in files, but one result of that was I told my boss I never got the month-end report when in fact I had got it but filed it away. Out of sight, out of mind.
I did manage, however, to clean out and organize the junk drawer in the kitchen. You know this drawer; the one that ends up with all the junk mail, scissors, calculators, phone book, twist ties, pencil sharpener, toothpicks, birthday candles, tacks, tape etc. Yes, well....last night Chris had to dig through it looking for a ruler - which wasn't there.
Hm....I'm thinking that it takes more than just a one-time effort to get organized. It's that whole staying organized thing that really throws a wrench in!
Work is perhaps a bit better. I have remembered some days to put my mileage on my daily planner. I think I've done that twice. I have also been putting papers in files, but one result of that was I told my boss I never got the month-end report when in fact I had got it but filed it away. Out of sight, out of mind.
I did manage, however, to clean out and organize the junk drawer in the kitchen. You know this drawer; the one that ends up with all the junk mail, scissors, calculators, phone book, twist ties, pencil sharpener, toothpicks, birthday candles, tacks, tape etc. Yes, well....last night Chris had to dig through it looking for a ruler - which wasn't there.
Hm....I'm thinking that it takes more than just a one-time effort to get organized. It's that whole staying organized thing that really throws a wrench in!
Monday, January 08, 2007
Bad Drivers be Damned!
So I'm merging into traffic with plenty of room. It's a clear day, so other drivers can see me from a mile away. Ok, maybe not a mile away, but at least a block away, which is the distance which we are talking about here. Ok, so I'm merging into traffic and the vehicle that is in the lane I am merging into slams on the gas! I don't notice until I am almost in his lane with his stupid SUV bearing down on me at 55 miles an hour. Had I completed the lane merge, he would have slammed into me. As it was, I slammed on my breaks and veered back into the turning lane. The jerk!
Here's what is so frustrating about that encounter. It is so-so-so-so typical of what I see everyday. As I'm out and about making my sales calls, I spend a lot of time on the road. I make countless lane merges and turns on and off roads. What I see on a consistent basis is other drivers SO inconvenienced by my traffic maneuvers that they feel compelled to try to stop me, even at the risk of causing an accident - or at least prevent me from getting ahead of them. God forbid!
I'm just not used to this. I live in a small town where people are by general rule very courteous drivers. They do not feel compelled to speed up to keep you out of their lane when they see you have your blinker on and are attempting to merge. In Holland it is almost a given that they will act this way. In Grand Haven where I live, however, people are actually quite likely to politely let you into their lane - even when traffic is backed up!
Now, some of you may be wondering if I am bringing this vehicular aggressiveness on myself. Well, that is a fair question, but one I must answer with a resounding NO! I do not drive like a grey-haired granny. I do not break when I change lanes, I speed up just like I was taught in driver's training all those years ago. No, my fair readers, I am not bringing this on myself. People here are just cranky road-ragers!
I will tell another story that will prove my point. I pulled up to an intersection to turn right. The cross-traffic was stopped on a red, but my light had just changed from green to yellow. So, being a normal red-blooded American driver, I pulled through the intersection and made my turn as the traffic light for the cross-traffic turned green. The gentleman - and I use that term out of political correctness, not actual fact - whose lane I had pulled into crammed on the gas pedal and zoomed right up on my bumper, honking his horn. I could see in my rear-view mirror that he was cussing me out and waving his hands in the air. He was one mad Dutchy-boy. As a matter of fact, his driving behavior was so aggressive, I became genuinely frightened. I was sure he was going to plow into my vehicle any moment, so I quickly pulled off the street at the next intersection hoping he'd just drive on by. Luckily, he did, cursing and honking and flipping me the bird. It was truly frightening.
Why do people have to behave so aggressively in situations that could cause serious bodily injury? So what, I pulled into your lane. Grow up! Is it really worth blowing a coronary artery over?
Bad drivers be damned!
Here's what is so frustrating about that encounter. It is so-so-so-so typical of what I see everyday. As I'm out and about making my sales calls, I spend a lot of time on the road. I make countless lane merges and turns on and off roads. What I see on a consistent basis is other drivers SO inconvenienced by my traffic maneuvers that they feel compelled to try to stop me, even at the risk of causing an accident - or at least prevent me from getting ahead of them. God forbid!
I'm just not used to this. I live in a small town where people are by general rule very courteous drivers. They do not feel compelled to speed up to keep you out of their lane when they see you have your blinker on and are attempting to merge. In Holland it is almost a given that they will act this way. In Grand Haven where I live, however, people are actually quite likely to politely let you into their lane - even when traffic is backed up!
Now, some of you may be wondering if I am bringing this vehicular aggressiveness on myself. Well, that is a fair question, but one I must answer with a resounding NO! I do not drive like a grey-haired granny. I do not break when I change lanes, I speed up just like I was taught in driver's training all those years ago. No, my fair readers, I am not bringing this on myself. People here are just cranky road-ragers!
I will tell another story that will prove my point. I pulled up to an intersection to turn right. The cross-traffic was stopped on a red, but my light had just changed from green to yellow. So, being a normal red-blooded American driver, I pulled through the intersection and made my turn as the traffic light for the cross-traffic turned green. The gentleman - and I use that term out of political correctness, not actual fact - whose lane I had pulled into crammed on the gas pedal and zoomed right up on my bumper, honking his horn. I could see in my rear-view mirror that he was cussing me out and waving his hands in the air. He was one mad Dutchy-boy. As a matter of fact, his driving behavior was so aggressive, I became genuinely frightened. I was sure he was going to plow into my vehicle any moment, so I quickly pulled off the street at the next intersection hoping he'd just drive on by. Luckily, he did, cursing and honking and flipping me the bird. It was truly frightening.
Why do people have to behave so aggressively in situations that could cause serious bodily injury? So what, I pulled into your lane. Grow up! Is it really worth blowing a coronary artery over?
Bad drivers be damned!
Friday, January 05, 2007
Further thoughts on Resolutions
I keep thinking about this topic....maybe because so much in my life could use the revolution of resolutions! But if you think about it, New Year's is the worst time to make a resolution. If you are like me, you stayed up too late and got up on New Year's Day feeling like a truck just used your ass end for a parking garage. Ok, maybe you didn't feel like that (because that's graphic and gross), but maybe you just feel like you got hit by a truck. Either way, you are not going to bounce out of bed and say to self, "Self, you know what I really feel like doing? Depriving myself of the crutches I've been using to make my normal days tolerable. No, today on this utterly draggy day I am going to forego my usual crutches and make everyone around me completely miserable!" Thanks, self.
Now let's be honest. We all got up on New Year's Day and stumbled out for our cigarette or coffee or glass of Pepsi or whatever our usual wake-up was and then we lounged in our pajamas complaining about not feeling like doing anything and it was probably nigh on three o'clock before we even remembered our New Year's Resolution. And far too late to count that day in. So we get up the next day with the best of intentions.....
Or maybe we made it. Maybe we did get up and make strides toward our New Year's Resolution. Line those people up and shoot them, please. They are messing up my whole blog post.
Ok, back to my original point. People suck at making January 1st the first day of a new era in their lives. Here's what I think is a far better approach: make any day a resolution day. You know what, if we wait until January 1st to start all the positive changes in our life, chances are Chris would still be wishin and hopin and prayin for a certain something - well, that's beside the point. The point is that so what if we've already given up on our New Year's Resolution (not that I am admitting anything here.) Make today your resoltion day! Start a new era today! Make today the first day of the rest of your life! Make something happen!
Or not. Myself...I'm just gonna sleep in tomorrow, get up and have a cup of coffee and yawn and stretch and stare into space. But hey, there's always the next day, right?
Now let's be honest. We all got up on New Year's Day and stumbled out for our cigarette or coffee or glass of Pepsi or whatever our usual wake-up was and then we lounged in our pajamas complaining about not feeling like doing anything and it was probably nigh on three o'clock before we even remembered our New Year's Resolution. And far too late to count that day in. So we get up the next day with the best of intentions.....
Or maybe we made it. Maybe we did get up and make strides toward our New Year's Resolution. Line those people up and shoot them, please. They are messing up my whole blog post.
Ok, back to my original point. People suck at making January 1st the first day of a new era in their lives. Here's what I think is a far better approach: make any day a resolution day. You know what, if we wait until January 1st to start all the positive changes in our life, chances are Chris would still be wishin and hopin and prayin for a certain something - well, that's beside the point. The point is that so what if we've already given up on our New Year's Resolution (not that I am admitting anything here.) Make today your resoltion day! Start a new era today! Make today the first day of the rest of your life! Make something happen!
Or not. Myself...I'm just gonna sleep in tomorrow, get up and have a cup of coffee and yawn and stretch and stare into space. But hey, there's always the next day, right?
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
New year, new you? Yeah, right.
I'm not exactly a fan of New Year's Resolutions. I believe the people really don't change that much and that for the most part, New Year's Resolutions are the evidence of people's foolish optimism. Boy, that sounds nice, doesn't it. What a pessimist I am!
But here's my logic: change is hard. People tend to take the path of least resistance. So, when they go about changing, they...take the path of least resistance. Take the resolutions people make to stop doing something like smoking or in my case - as always - sugar and caffeine. We quit imbibing and then suffer extreme withdrawal and get cranky and make everyone miserable for a few days to a few weeks (depending on how high our families tolerance is for our hootenany) and then give up and go hog wild.
Not good, people.
All the experts agree - to truly stop indulging in a particular action requires either extensive psychotherapy (or self-evaluation, I guess) to discover why the heck we do it, what childhood trauma we are trying to ameliorate and go back to "heal" our inner child -OR- we can have one of those nice cognitive experiences where it all becomes so clear and our paradigm shifts in a moment and we suddenly have The Insight that enables us to forego what had heretofore been a major crutch. Ok, so most of us would agree we don't often get those cognitive experiences. I had one once and was able to quit smoking. However, no amount of cognitive-conjuring has enabled me to successfully once and for all quit indulging in sugar and caffeine.
So, like the majority of Americans, I make feverishly optimistic resolutions without a chance in hell of actually succeeding. Considering my high likelihood of failure, I have given up the whole freaking exercise of resolution-making in previous years. This year, to your utter surprise no doubt, I have opted to do some slight self-evaluation and decided on a few modest resolutions related to organization at home and at work. Nothing major, just slight alterations of what I am already doing to make my life easier at home and at work. Let's see if this works.
Oh, and did I mention - bah humbug?
lovelovelove
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