“Even chance meetings are the result of karma.”* Who’s karma, I’d like to know. I never purposely did anything to hurt others even when they would hurt me. And there were many who did hurt me, even as a young child. I was easy to manipulate, and I tended to be somewhat isolated from others, always. That’s what happens when you discover very early that people can’t be trusted. It seems that has been the lesson of my life: don’t trust others. They will take advantage of you. They will hurt you. Be isolated, and you will stay safe. Karma has never been in my side. I wonder what I may have done in previous lives that this one would be so painful. I must have been a very bad person, indeed.
If this is true - and why should I not believe it? - what can I do other than try to manifest good things in my life from here on out, do good things for others, but make some positive karma out in the unknown power of our fates?
And yet, if anything were to give me bad karma, that would surely be it. Doing good just to save myself from the unknown history of deserving the misfortune of my life. What could possibly be my answer then? If I’d like good things to manifest instead of the horrific experiences of my life?
I think I’ll take an inventory of the good and bad in my life, look at how I manifested each thing, and see if I am once again putting a responsibility on myself for something someone else is responsible for. Because I cannot forget that I did not choose this. He did. And therefore, if there is bad karma to come from it, he owns it, not me.
*Quote of a quote in Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murukami.
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