Another Fine Day

Truly, madly, deeply I long to write here every day, filling your moments with joy as you trip gayly through my mental meanderings. Imagine the sheer bliss of experiencing the bulwark of my ever-burgeoning mental processes! Oh, joy, how it brightens my soul, and how it will brighten yours! Too bad I can't think of a freaking thing. Thanks, stroke, you suck royal jelly balls of phlegm!

Tune in tomorrow, I may be able to do better. Sigh.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:E Lakewood Blvd,Holland,United States

Slow long, good night

What the heck, I go to bed, and before I know it, the alarm goes off about 3 hours before I am actually ready to get up. So, here I am at BK hating myself for the 3,000 calories I am about to eat and the subsequent blood sugar of 375. But hey, another day, another dollar. Work awaits!




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Bk in holland

I did it, I did it, I did it!!!!!!

Omg, I'm crying, literally CRYING because I have not been able to get into my blog and write for MONTHS because I changed the log in and couldn't remember what it was and I've been through 49 different web pages entering every possible email address I've ever had (and a few I don't think I ever had!) trying to remember what the freaking log in here was!!!!! I literally cried at lunch today thinking my blog and I were never to be joined together again, cast asunder for evermore! BUT NO!!!!! Goodness has prevailed and I am - yet again - Bunnyjo Georg. YAY!!!!!! :)

Life can be so stupid

Reading...

I am reading a lot which is sort of cheating on my getting better from my stroke. My Speech Tx said I should stop every so many pages and recall what has happened. Well, right now I am reading Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens and it is loooooong. But not only that, a normal Chs Dickens book has prorbably a dozen or so main characters that you must keep straight. This book however has probably twice that number and maybe as many as 30. So I thought I'd try to read something else bur nothing else works. The great thing about wahat I am reading is that every time I "open" my book (it is on my iPod) I can't remember where I am, who's talking and why. I remember many of the main characters but then again there are so many I don't remember that I've given up trying to keep track and everytime I read it is like a little story and although I have a general idea of what is going on with Little Dorrit and Mr. Clennam (name?) who are the main people, everyone else just is ... I don't know. Just a lot of people.

So, what are you reading?


-- Posted from my iPhone

Put Blogger on my iPhone

I've been a very bad girl because I haven't been blogging but that is mostly because I don't use my computer at all right now (and obviously don't go to work). So I put a program on my iPhone so I can keep the blog updated. This is boring, I know. Sorry about that. I will write more and be interesting next time.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Ho-ly Crap

On September 11th I had a stroke (yeah, Sept 11, can you believe it?!?) Then I had another one a week after getting out of the hospital. I was in the hospital a week each time and then had to go back to the hospital to correct my heart hole which caused all the strokes to begin with. Then had bleeding and all that stuff so back to the hospital. And it has sucked, all except the part when I originally had the stroke because everything was sooooo funny. Unfortunately, that was a sign of the stroke. So it went away. And then everything has continually gotten ugly.

The good news is - well, sorta good news - is that I don't have any of the physical characteristics typically associated with a stroke. My second stroke had some but because it was only a TIA (ONLY), they went away very quickly, like within a couple days. The bad news is the stroke was in my thallamous (I can no longer spell). It's a place in the brain that controls all of your cognitive thinking, history, what you feel and all that kind of stuff. My husband rattles off the list but I always forget. Anyway, it's basically anything to do with what you think and your personality. I was talkative at first and laughed a lot but when people kept looking at each other weird I got quiet and have been pretty quiet ever since. I don't chit chat like i used to and I mostly just think of things to myself. The bad news is, when I do talk it is usually because I'm frustrated and I'm not nice, in fact, I'm a rotten horrible person. I REALLLLLLLLY don't like that. It makes me very angry, which I suppose is a stupid response to being a bitch. Ce ca. (Spelling, anyone?)

So, Chris just came back and I'm going to go real quick, but I just thought I'd say what-the-hell and cherry ho or whatever. Bye for now.

5 Years and Counting

Glancing at my blog log I noticed that I've been blogging for 5 years now. Wow, has it really been that long? On the rare rare occassion that I read back over my years of scribbling and bibbling, I've come across some gems, things I am very proud of. Other things have great potential if I took the time to edit them. And then there are things I'd rather not read. Poorly written sign posts of where I was at that time. Bad company.

Now that life is less hectic with the girls out of school and nearly finishing the major portions of remodeling the house, I'm thinking I might go back and start weeding out the garden, picking a few floral specimens for the reading public at large. Who knows, I might hit a few homers.

Mixed metaphors, anyone?

Holy Shitoly

There is this guy who works at my company and he is the VP of Engineering. Right off the bat he didn't like me. I was too aggressive and what the heck was I doing asking him this question or that question. My boss went to bat for me (baseball analogies?) saying I was doing what my position required and that I had not crossed any lines...or hit any fouls (ugh). Even still, I learned to mind my P's and Q's with him and try to stay out of his....ballpark as much as possible. (Or should I say stay off his base - enough with the baseball analogies!)

Keep in mind this is a guy who outright verbally abuses his female engineer. He is quite buddy-buddy with the engineer I work with who is a very passive male and let's his barbed little comments go by with no reaction. Considering what a dick he is, I just ignored his attitude and continued to do my job in spite of him (with recent cut backs I know he would have loved to see me cut, too).

Fast forward to last week. I needed to schedule a production launch meeting for a new product - a very critical product I may say. He was in charge of setting up production. I call him and ask when he would be available to meet this week. He said Friday. Um, I said, we will be on vacation for 4th of July that Friday. He snapped, too bad! and hung up on me. Whew, was I pissed. Later I cooled off and found out he was waaaay behind on setting up production and that is why he blew up at me. The thing though about the incident that really bothered me though was that I had always promised myself I would never let him talk to me in a degrading manner and that if he ever did, I would say, hey, that's innappropriate. So, what did I do? I cowered like a beaten dog and worst of all, my mind was blank as to what I could say to him about it. So, yeah, I cooled off but I was still a little pissed.

Ok, so today he walks into my office twice looking for my engineer. First time I said, he didn't tell me where he was going. Two minutes later Dick walks in again and asks about the engineer. I say that I honestly don't know. No answer and I hear the door shut. I say very loudly, I guess I'm talking to thin air! and then say quietly under my breath Dick! 10 seconds later he begins rumaging through my coworkers cubicle and I realize he had heard me!!! OMG, I got so scared. He could get me fired for this! However, the logical side of my brain says bring it on, dick! I'd just love to see him complain about something I said when he's been verbally abusing people for years - something I've witness first hand on many occassions. Plus, he has a habit of ignoring me when I speak, so I guess I just sort of spouted off.

I wonder what is going to happen?

Twist and Turns

Life is an amazing thing, you know? Thinking back to my single-mom days, life wasn't amazing; it was hard. It sucked. Part of my problem is that I'm just not cut out to be a single mom - I'm just not that together. It's the old looking-good-on-the-outside-while-crumbling-on-the-inside single mom thing. Who asks for help? Not us.

But life is vastly different now. Observe my Monday: van overheated in Holland around 2 p.m. and Chris comes and rescues me. He then spends the rest of the night trying to fix it (that DAMN BOLT!), but not to worry: we have a spare car. Rewind to single mom days when there was no one to rescue me, no one to fix my car and you'd see a screaming meemie on the side of the road - with no cell phone. Ugly.

Then again, observe my Tuesday: Chris bought a new refrigerator for our new house, Emily fell off the monkey bars and had to go to the ER. Chris wouldn't think of letting us go alone so we all hung out together in the ER until Emily was ok'd and we went out to dinner.

Or take any other day of the week. It amazes me - truly amazes me - who this man is and how he's transformed my life. My love for him is equal parts awe, respect, adoration, inspiration and...his eyes, his muscles, his sense of humor. Did I say his muscles? Mmmmm....

Even still, when are we going to get that darn house done!?!??!

Still a hoot!

I know, perhaps it is unfair of me to make fun of the guys even after they have left office but gosh darn it all, I just can't resist!

P.S. Notice how all I do lately is post funny cartoons and stuff....well, sorry! It's just so much easier than actually putting two brains cells together and writing something! (Plus it's quicker...)

P.P.S. I'm also using a lot of ellipses lately too. And dashes. Where have all my punctuation super powers gone?

P.P.P.S. I just did a spell check, and you guessed it! Not a single misspelling. Hmm...apparently those super powers are still in effect....

My lament....

Pass it this way, sister

The Question of Motivation

I received a great quote in my email this morning by Sir Alexander Paterson: “When a man is sufficiently motivated, discipline will take care of itself.” Wow, I thought, here is the answer to my lack-luster performance! I will finally be able to quit swearing, lose weight, keep my side of the bedroom clean, not let clutter accumulate on my dining room table, my dresser, my car and my purse. I will finally be able to motivate my children to do their homework, pursue hobbies instead of constantly FaceBooking, keep their room clean and be nice to each other. Perfect life, here I come!

That is when it dawned on me that for some people just the thought of doing the right thing is enough motivation. They reason that life is much easier, more fulfilling and less stressful if they simply do what they know they are supposed to do. But for others, like myself and my children, it seems like a headache to do all that stuff. So, we decide to procrastinate because it seems easier in spite of the often negative consequences. We reason that by putting off today what can easily be done tomorrow (or the next day or the next day or next week or next month…) we’ll be happier in the long run. Even we are not convinced by this logic and yet…our behavior speaks for itself.

Meanwhile, I am procrastinating on my work to contemplate how best to motivate slackers like myself and my children. Money is the obvious answer and yet who can afford the pay-out required to get us on track? We could target some specific behaviors, however, judging from times past, money will get tight and then the “allowance” goes out the window.

We’ve also grounded them from the computer, TV, cell phones and Wii. That has actually been pretty effective in the past but as motivation is an on-going struggle, grounding constantly seems unrealistic. Besides, I’d also have to be setting a good example, and so far I’m just as guilty as they are.

In thinking about this it occurs to me that while our environment exerts pressures to help guide our behavior, the question of motivation that outlasts the hurdles encountered when changing significantly is really one that boils down to our own internal thoughts, will and emotions. George Bernard Shaw said, “Imagination is the beginning of creation: you imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last you create what you will.” The control clearly lies within us.

Which brings me back to the dilemma of how to desire doing the right thing when most of the time I don’t. Perhaps I should just follow the advice of Mssrs. Marcus Buckingham and Curtis Coffman in their management book, “Now, Break All the Rules.” They argue that people don’t really change all that much and when we do, the way our brains work constantly nudges us back to the way we were before. The true path they say is to focus on improving your strengths and build your success from there and just forget about all those rotten old faults.

Which leads me to the conclusion that when you go searching for the hard answers in life you end up getting a lot of difficult-to-digest answers.