Doing it for myself

About six years ago - or was it seven? - I quit college just short of my two year degree. By "just short" I mean by 22 credits. Even still, I could get those 22 credits fairly quickly. I remember Brian Hosticka took 24 credits one semester prior to transferring to a four year university. Last time I saw him was at the court house prior to some court case he was working on. As a lawyer. So I guess those deeply mediocre grades he got that semester didn't hurt him too badly. I mean hey, he finished. I have A's on my transcript. About one A for every class I dropped. I'm thinking deeply mediocre grades on a completed degree a far better accomplishment than my few A's and many, many withdraws.

So I'm heading back this winter, taking six credits, considering that the likely outer limit of my ability while working full time. I'm also taking the last two required classes for my Associates degree. After that, I'll have 16 credits to fill of whatever I want to take. Not too bad, I'm thinking...wish me luck that I can still retain newly-learned knowledge after my stroke. If not, this could be a deeply painful failure. Good luck to me!!!


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Hello, Blogger, Long Time-No See!

I said recently on that little comment on the post one-down on the list here that I don't care who reads my blog; I just write because it is IN me to write - or some such nonsense. Well...that's not entirely true. I write because I love to have people read my blog and post comments. For a long, long, looong time I did the FB hop like the little bunny-bunny I am, reading and commenting and genuinely irritated at most everything other people put on their FB wall. It lacked any real sense of accomplishment for me. Oh, I would post exciting little tidbits and wait with bated breath until *someone* posted a comment and then, within 30 seconds, I would respond. Then wait once more with bated breath for more comments.... Stupid. Not fulfilling. And I would always put such stupid statuses on there - for example, see the stupid status I posted a month or more ago happily plastered on my blog wall (look to the right). See what I mean???

One thing I did like about FB, though, was when my girls' friends wanted to friend me. I loved that. I thought it was so deviilishly clever of me to have *their* friends as *my* friends because then I could see what *they* were putting on *their* wall!!! Stupid. All it really did was show me what is obvious to most well-actualized parents: kids are kiddishly posturing their version of adulthood exhaustively on FB. And quite irritatingly, too. I used to get pretty hyped up if I saw something upsetting on there. Now I realize that - like my own self - the kids are putting stuff up there they barely put together into an actualized thought, so why bother? I mean, do we REALLY want to see the random thoughts plucked out of the heads all around us? Not really. Not me, that's for sure. If I want a vision of random thoughts, I all I have to do is listen to my own!

Anyhoo, it's good to see you. Love-love-love!!

Tweet.....300 and Counting

I just saw that I had published 299 blogs. This one equals 300. Holy cats alive! That's less than one a day for a year. And I've had my blog for like 5 or 6 years. Hmm...I'm thinking that's rather tankopulous.

In other news, I've been largely following my diabetic diet and exercising and so far I've lost about 9 pounds. Whippidee-dee. I would love to say I've lost 20 or 30, but alas! Only 9. I've discovered it is really hard to lose weight when you are a diabetic. Sucky freaking genetics. Sigh.


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A Big Step for Posterity

UPDATED: Well, I deleted the FaceBook icon from my iPhone. Why, you ask? Because unless I get my Diabetes under control, I will die early. Like maybe within a decade. But how does that relate to FB? Mmmmm, it doesn't really.

But what it does relate to is the amount of time I spend dinking around on it instead of exercising or writing on my blog or cooking healthy food instead of eating another Toaster Strudel (ooooh, the strawberry cream cheese.....mmmmmmm). Ok, you get the idea. This obviously not going to be easy. But I do hope for better days.

UPDATE: I've spent the evening working quite extensively on a food plan and found the *best* iPhone app for Diabetes control; it's called Diabetes Buddy which is a rather unfortunate name. However, it kicks the effeminate ass out of the other apps I've tried over the past couple years. The only thing this app does not do is tell me how many calories I've burned on my workout. Other than that, it tracks EVERYTHING- even how much water I drank today! And it has the best food database I've seen so far - and I'm talking I've had probably about 6 or 7 various programs with food databases! I am thrilled to the max. Now all I have to do is exercise and eat right tomorrow. And take my medicine. And be good. Whew, it'll be a chore with or without my new app! ;)


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Hunting Target

Once upon a time, we moved through the world around us without fear of noxious gas clouds on subways or gunmen lurking along the highway and even allowed our kids to go to school without the latest bullet proof jacket. But we live in a different world now. Whether it is the Islamist who may be secretly planning the next bio-terrorist event while giving us our change for coffee at the gas station or the quiet friend from a troubled family our kids bring home from school, we are faced with possible - and terrifying - threats to our security every day.

I remember in my bioethics class in college studying possible threats to our society and to what extent we would be willing to accept security trespasses to (almost) guarantee security, safety and most of all, not having to worry. Would we accept security cameras? Body searches? Secret surveillance? And ultimately, here we are all these years later debating the real question: what is the price we are willing to pay for the needful sense of security that enables us to snuggle in bed, smile as we send our kids off to school and drive to work unscathed?

The answer to this question is determined by the extent we have smelled danger lurking outside our own door. I lived in Tulsa, Oklahoma on April 19, 1995. It was around 9 o'clock, and I was heading over to the executive secretary's office to ask her a question. I walked in and instantly knew something was wrong. The President and Vice President of our company were tautly standing next to her desk and each person stared intently at a radio: The Alfred P Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City had just exploded. In utter terror we stood listening as horrific reports of the chaos and destruction as people ran for help, ran for safety, ran for friends, family, coworkers....just ran. Ditto the morning of September 11, 2001. I stood watching the news in our lunch room with the President and Controller of our company, wondering, et tu, Brute?

To me it all feels pretty darn close. Too close. So I am willing to pay for my unterrorized freedom by inconvenience, whether it is being scanned and people seeing my fat rolls or walking through the scanners at the county building. I don't want to be shot, I don't want people I love to be shot. I don't even want people I don't like to be shot. And for that, I'll pay the price.

Ahhh, finally!!

For those of you vain enough (dare I say it?) to use the location finder in BlogPress blogging app on the iPhone, please note: it doesn't freaking work! After weeks (or days....) of trying to get it OFF the blog I innocently tried to write a few weeks (or days...) ago, I finally had to just delete BlogPress off my phone and reload it, CAREFUL to make sure I TURNED OFF that option for my blog posts! You may note that I have used this feature in the past successfully. Alas, it was not to happen again and resulted in many unfulfilling moments in which I could have been blogging but instead spent 5 minutes saying "OK" to the continually repeating message that it couldn't find my location. Humbug!

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The word of the day is....

Ah, why is it that life is so wretchedly demandingly tiredly work???? I do believe I shall have to take a nap at my desk just to clear out all the darn thinking I did this morning. If only life as an adult could be as excitingly random and freakishly fun as being a child....long bike rides, traipsing my Barbie through the grass, letting my guinea pig Skipper run around in the yard, playing endless rounds of my made-up ball game where I would throw it against the wall and have to get it when it bounced off....these were the chores life had for me then. Sigh....

Another Fine Day

Truly, madly, deeply I long to write here every day, filling your moments with joy as you trip gayly through my mental meanderings. Imagine the sheer bliss of experiencing the bulwark of my ever-burgeoning mental processes! Oh, joy, how it brightens my soul, and how it will brighten yours! Too bad I can't think of a freaking thing. Thanks, stroke, you suck royal jelly balls of phlegm!

Tune in tomorrow, I may be able to do better. Sigh.


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Location:E Lakewood Blvd,Holland,United States

Slow long, good night

What the heck, I go to bed, and before I know it, the alarm goes off about 3 hours before I am actually ready to get up. So, here I am at BK hating myself for the 3,000 calories I am about to eat and the subsequent blood sugar of 375. But hey, another day, another dollar. Work awaits!




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Location:Bk in holland

I did it, I did it, I did it!!!!!!

Omg, I'm crying, literally CRYING because I have not been able to get into my blog and write for MONTHS because I changed the log in and couldn't remember what it was and I've been through 49 different web pages entering every possible email address I've ever had (and a few I don't think I ever had!) trying to remember what the freaking log in here was!!!!! I literally cried at lunch today thinking my blog and I were never to be joined together again, cast asunder for evermore! BUT NO!!!!! Goodness has prevailed and I am - yet again - Bunnyjo Georg. YAY!!!!!! :)

Life can be so stupid

Reading...

I am reading a lot which is sort of cheating on my getting better from my stroke. My Speech Tx said I should stop every so many pages and recall what has happened. Well, right now I am reading Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens and it is loooooong. But not only that, a normal Chs Dickens book has prorbably a dozen or so main characters that you must keep straight. This book however has probably twice that number and maybe as many as 30. So I thought I'd try to read something else bur nothing else works. The great thing about wahat I am reading is that every time I "open" my book (it is on my iPod) I can't remember where I am, who's talking and why. I remember many of the main characters but then again there are so many I don't remember that I've given up trying to keep track and everytime I read it is like a little story and although I have a general idea of what is going on with Little Dorrit and Mr. Clennam (name?) who are the main people, everyone else just is ... I don't know. Just a lot of people.

So, what are you reading?


-- Posted from my iPhone

Put Blogger on my iPhone

I've been a very bad girl because I haven't been blogging but that is mostly because I don't use my computer at all right now (and obviously don't go to work). So I put a program on my iPhone so I can keep the blog updated. This is boring, I know. Sorry about that. I will write more and be interesting next time.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Ho-ly Crap

On September 11th I had a stroke (yeah, Sept 11, can you believe it?!?) Then I had another one a week after getting out of the hospital. I was in the hospital a week each time and then had to go back to the hospital to correct my heart hole which caused all the strokes to begin with. Then had bleeding and all that stuff so back to the hospital. And it has sucked, all except the part when I originally had the stroke because everything was sooooo funny. Unfortunately, that was a sign of the stroke. So it went away. And then everything has continually gotten ugly.

The good news is - well, sorta good news - is that I don't have any of the physical characteristics typically associated with a stroke. My second stroke had some but because it was only a TIA (ONLY), they went away very quickly, like within a couple days. The bad news is the stroke was in my thallamous (I can no longer spell). It's a place in the brain that controls all of your cognitive thinking, history, what you feel and all that kind of stuff. My husband rattles off the list but I always forget. Anyway, it's basically anything to do with what you think and your personality. I was talkative at first and laughed a lot but when people kept looking at each other weird I got quiet and have been pretty quiet ever since. I don't chit chat like i used to and I mostly just think of things to myself. The bad news is, when I do talk it is usually because I'm frustrated and I'm not nice, in fact, I'm a rotten horrible person. I REALLLLLLLLY don't like that. It makes me very angry, which I suppose is a stupid response to being a bitch. Ce ca. (Spelling, anyone?)

So, Chris just came back and I'm going to go real quick, but I just thought I'd say what-the-hell and cherry ho or whatever. Bye for now.

5 Years and Counting

Glancing at my blog log I noticed that I've been blogging for 5 years now. Wow, has it really been that long? On the rare rare occassion that I read back over my years of scribbling and bibbling, I've come across some gems, things I am very proud of. Other things have great potential if I took the time to edit them. And then there are things I'd rather not read. Poorly written sign posts of where I was at that time. Bad company.

Now that life is less hectic with the girls out of school and nearly finishing the major portions of remodeling the house, I'm thinking I might go back and start weeding out the garden, picking a few floral specimens for the reading public at large. Who knows, I might hit a few homers.

Mixed metaphors, anyone?