I think I'd like to start a new series on my blog entitled: How to find joy in everyday procrastination. Truly, I doubt life would be as innnnnnnteresting without all the last-minute panicking. Now, I know several of you are sagely wagging your heads thinking this is just another bloated, self-aggrandizing example of the way in which my life excels. Not true! I'm putting this out there to show that procrastination that doesn't actually entail procrastination brings a much needed lift to an otherwise humdrum day. Not possible, you say? An example, you ask? Your wish is my...well, it's a suggestion.
About six weeks ago I was at a client site with my sometimes boss, Loyd or Eddie. This was my first time out to this client's business, so we were doing the glad-hand and making all nice-nice...when suddenly I realized it was 4:15!!!!! I was an hour away from home!!!! And my children would have been crying and whining and scratching at my back door for the last 30 minutes since they arrived home to find.....their mother missing!!!!! I gasped! I looked around in panic! I started five exclamatory sentences and breathed in and out rapidly!!!! My eyes were round and protruding, people were dialing phones, alarm bells were going off in people's heads as they twirled their finger around their ear while I was busily exclaiming about my POOR CHILDREN!!!!!! Luckily, I had just the week before made child care arrangements, and had I just taken one quiet little moment to think about it, I would have realized that they had been picked up by the babysitter approximately four times since said arrangements had been completed. Oh, DUH-UH!!!! Furiously backpedaling, I tried to explain how the girls had been instructed to go to the Stone's house if they ever arrived home and I wasn't there, so all was not lost anyway. Which only begged the question: why would such arrangements be necessary in the first place? Judging by the nervous laughter and sidelong glances, I doubt a soul existed at that client site who had one iota of faith in my parenting - or business - skills. Well, forget that part. Just focus on the excitement of the non-procrastination procrastination panic. That's the point.
Ain't it great to have me back?
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8 comments:
nice entry, Laura, now you wanna see ours (and maybe link to it)? It's 'imthedad.blogspot.com'
One of my biggest fears is that you will forget to be home when the kids get home.....maybe you should let THEM have your cell phone????? Tee hee...just a suggestion....have them call me
oooeeee....this will be fun!
Pendulous...breasts. I'm sorry, but that is what the word pendulous was made for. Means gravity at its worst. (Watch the National Geographic Channel)
Bulbous...man boobs. Don't even get that attitude with me, you are the one who put these words here. It's the hormones in milk and meat.
Refrain...It's a cross between "reefer" and "brain." Watch any movie with the word "Porky" in the title.
Titan...see "pendulous" and bulbous" above. A term to describe enlarged portions of the anatomy, as in, don't you dare touch my titans!
P.S. Do I win? What do I get?
Procrastination, uh?!
Then I guess you be getting those definitions later...much later...
DCvR, we've missed your wit, your sarcasm, your "la vie est belle" savoire faire! Glad to have you back! But do get on those definitions, PDQ! (read: gratify my ego by doing what i say - the cornerstone of every good relationship w/ a female).
Mom, thank you for playing! Your definitions spawned a "tit"ter or two! Hey, peeps, why not go head-to-head with the mudder and see who can out-wit her?!? Any takers? I will announce winner once I get another entry, which is sure to happen once people get off their lazy duffs and T-H-I-N-K! The prize is worth it, folks. Really is!
Thank u BunnyJo.
It is almost sad to disagree with you after such a wellcome...
The cornerstone of any good relationship w/ a female is knowing when to listen, when to stop listening and when to stop answering back.
Either that or just ignore all the rules be a grown-up kid and wish for the best.
BTW, what is PDQ ?!?
Excuse me, but what am I to do with a poem? Can I eat it or sleep with it or use it for camping equipment? No. So, why did I even bother? I mean, no offense, okay maybe offense...but no matter how good a writer you are, a POEM is not a good prize! Think of something better and maybe more people will enter your contest.
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