This should go without saying for those of you that know me, but....apparently not, so here goes. Sometimes I am not a good friend. Sometimes I am not a good family member. Sometimes I am not a good communicator. Sometimes I let little life-y things get in the way of reaching out to people who mean a lot to me. It is selfish, I agree.
Consider it one of my few flaws.
This tendency has always been there, always been a part of my relationships. I've done better over the last couple years, learned to put more focus on my friendships and relationships, but in doing so, if the truth were to be told, I kinda neglected my family.
It really boils down to the way my brain works and the way I interact with the world around me. All my life, I've only managed to focus on a few main things at one time. If I'm eating right and exercising, it seems I get way behind in housework. If I'm going to church and keeping up on the housework, my yard and car get totally wrecked. Or my laundry overflows. The same is true with relationships. I've been so good at emailing and calling my friends, but rarely talk to my family (as they'd be glad to attest) unless I need something.
I'm so bad.
So, as most of you know, about two months ago I began seeing someone new. Chris. He and I both went into it wanting only friendship, but what began as a fun and interesting friendship quickly bloomed into a wildly exciting, consuming love relationship.
We giggle all the time about our "whirlwind storybook romance." After committing our whole hearts and souls to our prior relationship, our prior relationship sought greener pastures elsewhere. Instead of becoming embittered, wounded people, we were lucky enough to find in each other what we thought we had committed to in our prior relationships. Emphasis on the lucky part.
Anyone who has seen us together will have no doubts about how we feel about each other. About how happy we are. About how we genuinely just enjoy, support, encourage and treasure each other.
It's love, folks!
So, as is not uncommon is such situations, our involvement has us completely enthralled. We turn down all but the most important invititations in favor of spending yet more hours cuddling and talking and giggling and canoodling. We treasure every moment folding the whites, raking the yard, shopping for groceries. We cook together and clean up together. We even sneak away for surreptitious trips to the local ice cream shop. He's medium vanilla soft-serve, and I'm a peanut butter cup flurry. Yum.
So, in the midst of all this happiness and togetherness, if I forget - or simply don't have time - to call, please don't think it's because I don't care.
After nine years of being alone, it just feels so good to share my life with someone who I admire and adore with every ounce of my being. And I just can't quite get enough of that.