Alright, everyone, in lieu of actually coming up with something cunning and witty to say, I have devised instead something meant to spark *your* intellect! You know how some people say things that they think makes them look smart when in fact they've misused the word and they look like a pretentious ass?
Oh, yeah. Gotta love it!
Here's a great example: My marketing manager was upbraiding a co-worker for not responding to an agent's inquiry properly.
Manager: "Geeez, Shawn," she said, "He's going to think you totally disked him!"
Me: "Did you just say disked????"
Her: "Yeah. Disked."
Me: "You mean like with a K? As in like a rubber disk?"
Her: "That isn't right?"
Ok, maybe she wasn't trying to sound smart, but in her snooty-patooty way she was trying to show she could hang and use the lingo from the streets but just ended up looking like she just crawled from under her pressed-coal rock. A wetback. Or is it greenback? Anyway, she's also the one who gave me the inspiration for the "Holy Macro" title to my blog posting a while back. Apparently she's not up on her fish.
So, do you have a good one? Share it with my readers and to the commentor with the best story gets a autographed picture of your's truly!!! Now, hey, who wouldn't want that, right!?!?
By the way, did I spell "whoah" right? It does have that "ah" combo, right? Ugh....how to exist without the little red squiggly lines that tell me I've typo-ed again, cuz we all know I wouldn't misspell a word, n'est ce pas?!?!?!
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16 comments:
I hope Cindy posts a reply..tee hee hee
The only one I can think of is (and it's not the same thing) the one about me when we were talking about going swimming in the winter, and you said, "You can't you'd die from hypothermia" and I said, "Yeah, or you'd freeze to death"
Ah..to be 8 again
The term is "malapropism" which is based on a literary character named Mrs. Malaprop (I believe the name of the play was The War) She frequently misused words in a comical way. I am a big fan of these, but can only think of one real life malapropism. A gal who had a huge crush on my brother always tried to impress us with her knowledge and vocabulary. On this particular occasion, she was talking about how many people were at a lake. "There were a lot of people there. A whole lot. They came to the water in groves," she said. My brother and I rolled on the floor thinking of tree-like people coming down to the water!
Hey, Jamie, the one that comes to mind is when we had trespassers on the family property and were trying to think of what to do. "Well," you said, "We could always put up a sign that says, 'Prosecutors will be violated.'" That one has me rolling every time I think of it! It isn't a true malapropism, but it is really funny!
You're not really gonna kill your blog are you? You're the one who got us all into it.
Once upon a time I was a chubby 13-year-old with bad skin and, well, *thatched* hair. Truly pathetic. Everyone knew that my favorite color was "mag-NET-a!" 'Cause I announced it once during a conversation with kids way cooler than me. Sigh. My favorite color has been green ever since. Can't f*k that word up.
PS. So nice to see some life on this blog!
PPS: What's a rubber disk?
Good to see your back !
The world's your lobster.
ChillDaddy: The honest answer to that question is dunno. I enjoy blogging but don't have time to do it as it is outlawed at work, and I don't have time at home. Like, for instance, right now I am sneaking at work to post comments. It hurts my sense of integrity.
Blithe: Perhaps you the magnetic pull of the color "mag-NET-a" A rubber washer could be considered a rubber disk, right? ;)
DaveM: Ah, see! That is the problem....I don't care for lobster! Or oysters. Could the world be my chocolate bar, you think?
One of my family members once referred to school tuition as "school intuition".
Once, coming back over the border after a fishing trip, the customs officer asked my uncle velemir "Did you purchase anything?" to which my uncle replied:
"No perch, no bass....NO NOTHING!"
I guess that's a little different, no?
How about people who say things like "that'll make it more better"
or "I'm going to get some sangwiches for lunch"
hey ya'll ask little ms. bunny jo about her rock
We've got a co-worker who can't get one sentence right. It would make no sense sharing her stuff here, mostly because her sentences are in Portuguese, but she makes up words, misspells every second word, completely disregards grammar...
There are also a few international versions of her mistakes, like when she went to an international conference and went to a great "work shopping". We're trying to come up with a definition for "work shopping" as a noun: it is either shopping for a new job (advisable in her case, she is completely incompetent) or shopping during working hours.
Radmilla: The way we hear it out here in the midwest is: "Hey, I'm gonna go getta sanwidge!" Which reminds me of a funny message I got for an agent a couple weeks ago...
Him: Is Pat Sr there?
Me: No, but can I take a message?
Him: Yeah, just tell him his sanwidge is in.
Me: His sandwich is in?
Him: Look, just tell him The Golf Place called and his sanwidge is in.
Sand Wedge. Who knew?!?!
Shorty: Don't you mean rocks?
DCvR: I've been work-shopping too...in every sense of the word! ;) Which reminds me....
One time back in the day when my uncle and I worked at the same place, we were forced to go "work shopping" on customer service. You know how they have you do stupid things to teach some universal concept? Well, in this work shopping, the work shopping leaders threw a bunch of balloons into the crowd and we were supposed to keep in them all in the air as long as possible. My uncle was standing next to me when I saw him looking up at a balloon that was falling right in front of him. He reached his arm back and brought it forward in a swift arc - only to loudly smack the woman's ass in front of us who had been bending over at the moment to pick up a floor bouncing balloon. I will never forget that work shopping!!!! We laughed till we cried.
I'm sure Yoob was mortified. Probably wished he could turn into a bat right there and fly away through an open skylight (referring of course to the strange vampire fixation).
Yoob was mortified and apologized profusely. The woman was irritated and embarassed but tried to play it off like she didn't care. Now, myself.....I was laughing my ass off. Right in front of both of them. Then we laughed with Susie, our VP, all the way back to the office. Then when we got back to the office, we told everyone about it, and they all laughed. One ass slapping was turned into countless hours of mirth. Way to go, Yoob!
Here are some links that I believe will be interested
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