Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Powder Creamer

Powdered non-dairy creamer is to coffee what Busch is to beer. It's the ugly buck-toothed cousin who drools and you can see the food when she eats so no one will sit and eat by her at the family reunion. It is the crustified top piece of bologna. It is the end piece of bread. Looked over, passed by and heartily disdained by foodies of all creed. Oh, no powdered creamer for me, they say! What, you don't have CoffeeMate creamer? No half-n-half? I'll take it black. Black, I say, for no powdered creamer shall pass my hallowed lips! Foodies....hmph!

I love powdered creamer. It is my favorite. I use about two tablespoons in every cup of coffee I drink. It is lovely.....and delicious. Rich tasting, smooth, full of fat I am sure. Yum.

Milk in coffee? How gross. Fancy-pants CoffeeMate creamer? No thanks! Half-n-half? Nope-a-dope. Just pass me the ol' powdered creamer.

5 comments:

Big Plain V said...

How vulgar. You forget that some of your readers are coffee purists.

bunnyjo georg said...

By coffee purist do you mean tastebud disabled? Cuz that's what you are. Beaner! Everyone who loves powdered creamer raise their hands!

bunnyjo georg said...

Oh, BTW, not only do I love powdered creamer, but I buy the cheap Meijer brand too! Love-love-love!

VeeFlower said...

Um...I don't get it. Is powdered creamer under attack in the media or something? I mean, why are you defending your love of powdered creamer? Please explain!

bunnyjo georg said...

I worked with a woman named Monique last year. She was a truly metropolitan, super-high maintenance woman. She drank 2-3 very large cappuccinos every day, averaging around $7 each. No kidding. So, one day she sold an ad campaign to a donut shop here in town and was appalled at the condition of his shop and chose to give him some pointers about adding an esspresso machine to class up the place (a DONUT SHOP, mind you. Get real.) She said to me in truly shocked disbelief, "Laura, I couldn't believe it but he had POWDERED CREAMER on the tables!! I mean, how can he expect to stay in business with powdered creamer?!!? No one will even want to try his coffee." Well, this comment has stuck with me. Over the past year, I have observed a very strong anti-powdered creamer attitude in society. Did you know that people would actually rather put milk - MILK! - in their coffee than let powdered creamer pass their lips. It is an outrage, a true act of prejudice on the part of all non-partaking people. My soul could only take so much of this heinous disregard for what could only be described as "coffee's best friend." I decided to take action. Thus, my manifesto in defense of powdered creamer. :)