When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Since I live in Muskegon, does that mean that I must be obese, lazy and do nothing with my life? If you believe columnist Tracy Lorenz, the answer to that question would be a big “Hell yeah!”
However, Tracy’s most recent column was custom-made for the obese Muskegonite. Applying his mensa-worthy intellect to the three problems above, he devised a weight loss program that even a fat, lazy, do-nothing Muskegonite couldn’t fail.
His theory is simple. The body is like a furnace. It burns fat to maintain the 98.6 degree temperature required for normal functioning. Well, if that body were placed in cold environment for long periods of time, it would consume more of that fat fuel to keep things at 98.6 degrees, resulting in an over-all fat reduction. Voila…weight loss!
Actually, his theory has been proven by the Aleutians who live in northern Yukon Territory. They must consume large amounts of fat in their diet to replace the fat that is burned to keep them from freezing to death. I’m sure if you talked to a person from Iceland, they’d say the same.
Ok, since we don’t live north of the tundra line, how do we keep our bodies in a cold environment for long periods of time? Simple: sleep over your covers.
He lost seven pounds in seven days doing this.
So, I challenge any one of my blog readers to do the same. At the end of seven days, post your weight loss. I, on the other hand, will continue my regimen of healthy eating and exercise during that same seven day period. Comparing notes, we’ll determine if Tracy’s intellect is a mere cranial flatulence or real genius.
To quote Muskegon’s infamous former resident and now-columnist of our excesses: this is so simple, we can do this with our eyes…closed.
So, who’s game?