Sunday, August 28, 2005

The Quick and the Dirty

Realizing that my fans are champing at the bit for new words descended from on high (moi), I have taken a few moments to direct some words right at their blessed little hearts. Now I know that many of you are seething from boredom when I am not posting, so I have decided to give you a taste of the excellence in viewing that I enjoy so much, i.e. rockin' cool movies. So, here are a few quick and dirty recommends to get the job done.

Stylish and Clever: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

At the top of my stylish and clever category is the balls-to-the-wall Cockney scam-fest by director Guy Ritchie. The heavy cockney accents and east-London slang may leave you a little bewildered in the first half hour, so, if you are a speed reader, use your closed captioning to keep up. This movie moves at a lightening pace, virtually studded with grifters bent on getting the best of somebody. The punk-soul soundtrack keeps things jumping until the unbelievable climax. You won't be tossing old guns off a bridge after this. Guaranteed.

Movies to Impress: Primer

Hey, let’s face it. Sometimes we just want people to think we’re smart. This indie film by Shane Carruth and David Sullivan, two green grads from director school, will fool ‘em for sure. This movie is so smart I literally watched it straight through twice just to figure out what the hell was going on. Which was ok, because not only is it smart, but it’s also freaking amazing. If you don’t drop jaw, someone better check to see if you are breathing. Virtually shot in two locations on a budget somewhere under $25,000, these two guys not only convince you they are Hollywood caliber, but they put Mensas to shame. Rock on, little director grads.

Twistedly Funny: Drowning Mona

I gotta say, if it’s twisted, I probably think it’s funny. That is why I so dig this movie. Listen:

"Does anything about this murder strike you as odd?" said the sheriff.

"You mean like the fact that no one cares?" said his deputy.


"She's dead, Wyatt. Whoever killed her did us all a favor. As far as I'm concerned, ding-dong the wicked witch is dead. End of story."

No one in Verplanck, New York gives a flying fig that Mona Dearly was killed. Not her husband. Not her son. And certainly not the grease-spoon floozy playing Wheel of Fortune with her husband. The only movie in the history of movie-making that features a Yugo car chase, this movie abounds with quirky characters and off-beat humor. It’s worth the watch just for that. With stellar performances by everyone in the cast including Casey Affleck, Neve Campbell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Will Farrell and Danny DeVito, you’re sure to get your laugh off. And I love the stylin’ sounds of the seventies soundtrack. Righteous.

Sexually Repressed and Explosive: Girl with a Pearl Earring

Boy, you gotta hand it to those Dutch people. They sure were repressed. And religious. But it is precisely the repression and tightly-bound religiosity of this movie that gives its powerful impact. In a household brimming with the intensity of insecurity, jealousy, creative genius and slightly mad passion, Scarlett Johannson plays a pawn in a sexual chess game of the wealthy and powerful. But it’s the eye candy of Cillian Murphy and Colin Firth that makes my mouth water. Yum. The silence and low-tempo movement of the film only heightens the anticipation of what’s to come, like slow-moving heavy petting. Despite a complete lack of any gratuitous flesh being exposed, it’s one of the most sensual movies I’ve ever seen. Hands above the covers, now.

Enjoy, my people. And we'll talk later. Peace out.


Mom said...

Now I love talkin' movies! However, the only one I remember from your list is Girl With a Pearl Earring. So here goes. I liked it. But I didn't find it as titillating as you did. Probably my age. The arty way it was shot I thought added a lot of charm to the story. My one criticism is that the girl was always in the artist's studio cleaning, thereby facilitating the romance right under the wife's nose. Now I am no historian, but I am willing to bet that in real life, even centuries ago, a jealous and suspicious wife would not send her comely young servant wench up to her philandering husband's studio to "clean" while he was there supposedly working. But hey, it is a really great flick. Very enjoyable as Bunnyjo said. Don't let the cynicism of old age sway you.

DCveR said...

Haven't seen any of those so no real comments on your reviews, I'll probably see them though.
What struck me as funny, hell it almost struck me out of the dam chair, were the sentences: "Boy, you gotta hand it to those Dutch people. They sure were repressed. And religious." Look where it got them today: biggest brothel and free joint smoking area of Europe! The irony of it...

bunnyjo georg said...

DCvR: Oh, the wonder that another human being lives and breathes the irony I hold so dear. You are a brother from another mother.

Mom: Perhaps I've just had WAAAAAY too many nights alone. sniff sniff

Anonymous said...

I like porn

bunnyjo georg said...

Yeah, porn really helps on those long, lonely nights all by myself. Sha.

Bonnie Blithe said...

loved Girl with a pearl earring: it was an extremely sensual movie, drenched with color and vivid imagery.
Drowning Mona: an absolute classic. I've seen it, like, 30 times, and would watch it 30 more.