Thursday, January 12, 2006

I'm a mean one, Mr. Grinch

What do you suppose is SO objectionable about getting clean?

Emily and I have been having an on-going struggle regarding her complete aversion to getting clean. She loves taking baths because she can splish-splash around with her toys for hours on end if I’d let her. But honest-to-God washing is as foreign to her as farrowing a cornfield with a mule and hand plow.

And showers? She especially hates them. The strange thing is, once she gets in there, she has fun and sings at the top of her lungs. But getting her in the shower is usually a long, painful affair.

I’ve tried coaxing her into it. I’ve tried rewards. I’ve tried explaining to her how other people think about people that don’t bathe. I’ve tried getting her to pay attention to her schoolmates and how clean and nice they look everyday. All to no avail! The worst part about it is that she has bright blond hair and it is exceptionally thick. It shows dirt and looks sickening when it is dirty. It drives me nuts!

Well…today is Emily’s birthday. She is eight years old today. Knowing that she wouldn’t want to go through the ugliness of a shower on her birthday, I told her yesterday to get in the shower. To which she replied, “I shouldn’t have to take a shower on my birthday eve, mom!”

“Emily, if you don’t take a shower today, you will have to take a shower tomorrow, on your birthday. How are you going to like that?”

Considering that she didn’t even deign to answer my question, I decided to let her have her way. A shower on her birthday it would be!

So…this morning I got her up, crooning ‘Happy Birthday’ to her. Then I ordered her into the shower. She got up - whimpering all the way – and got into the shower. Now, I was trying not to get irritated with her, but after 15 minutes of whimpering and banging around in the shower, the water still wasn’t going. I could feel my blood beginning to boil. Within five minutes, I was yelling at her and telling her that until she learned how to take a shower, turn on the water by herself and adjust it, she would take a shower EVERY DAY and wash her hair EVERY DAY. And if she came out and her hair didn’t smell perfectly clean, I would send her back in to do it again!

As my rant began to wind down, I realized she was cowering in my bed with the covers tucked under her chin and two big tears quivering at the edge of her eyelids. My heart melted.

Sitting down next to her, I put my arm around her and her little tears gushed forth. After she had calmed down, we came to an arrangement: she could take a bath everyday and spend as much time in the tub as she wanted, but when it was time to get out she’d have to stand up and wash her hair and body.

It’s a sad sight to see your little sweetheart smiling with the remnants of huge, old tears in her eyes on her birthday.

I’m so mean.

8 comments:

Melissa said...

Happy Birthday, dear Emily!

Sorry your mom is a big meanie butt. ;)

shortensweet said...

In addition to singing on the top of her lungs, I've overheard her having a conversation with herself and 2 'other' people. And sis, this is how I make Emily take a shower, I drag her (she giggles the whole way) strip her down, and turn on the water and put her in it. She cries for a minute..then you hear..."give me some of your tots" or some silly conversation about shoes and noodles. Ah yes, she is a special child.

bunnyjo georg said...

The idea we are working toward is INDEPENDENCE. I'm sick of her calling me to the bathroom to turn on the water, adjust the temperature, close the shower door etc. Another funny thing about Emily, she locks that damn bathroom door EVERY TIME she goes in there. It is her little way of letting me know her defiance.

You know what she said yesterday when I asked if she wanted spaghetti for dinner? She said, "Oh, goody! I was craving some noodles." Please count: we had spaghetti, macaroni salad, Ramen noodles and then spaghetti again. And she was craving noodles!

DCveR said...

Happy birthday to the little smelly one!

Mom said...

She is so adorable. She hopped off the bus and ran up to me full of happiness...the kids loved the cupcakes, she told me, yes, they all said thanks and were SO happy...but when asked how she liked them, she shrugged and said "I don't like chocolate."
As for being clean, my old standby is to tell her that if she doesn't do what I want I will say no to her next request...or two or three requests...that gets her every time. And letting her use your toiletries doesn't hurt, either.

Marcheline said...

There seems to be a spate of kids refusing things lately.... go to my blog and click on the link for "Finslippy" if you really wanna laugh yer patootie off about some kid stuff....

- M

bunnyjo georg said...

Hey Marcheline, I couldn't find it, but I DID find an hilarious blog entry about your henna mishaps! In your case, intentions were as good as the deed, no doubt! I've always been tempted by the henna kits. Now that I know everything NOT to do, I just may....nah. Too damn much work for little faintly yellow images!

Bonnie Blithe said...

regarding your "independence" comment, above:

IT NEVER HAPPENS! :P

I fully expect my girl will need help in the bath at 25, based on current experience.