Thursday, January 26, 2006

Ze Fluuuuuz Blues

I want to tear off my clothes and roll on the carpet. My lungs spasm into dry, tight little tickly-coughs that make my head pound with each spasmodic contraction of my diaphram. I can feel the overwrought muscles of my neck squeal and squirm. My body hunkers up with achiness as my fever soars. I just want to rip open my shirt and splash water all over my chest, fan my skirt out swishingly fast, kick off my heels and rub my stockinged feet all over the nubbly carpet. My body needs comfort.

I've lived on a steady diet of TheraFlu, ibuprofen, Mucinex, Delsym, anti-oxidant tea, water and orange juice. And a few oranges. And some toast. And an occassional meal. Not that my scale would notice any difference. Those ibuprofen must be packed with calories.

18 comments:

DCveR said...

Show those germs who's in charge!
Hehehehe
Get well soon, will ya?!

brian said...

you must be French.
so much whine.

bunnyjo georg said...

DCvR: I'd looooove to get well soon. What can you arrange for me with your super science powers?

Brian: I can't even whine...my throat is too raw. I can only rasp.

Im so angry, Im so at ease said...

Awwwh:( You should try some grapefruit seed extract, with some hot blackcurrant tea... My mom's recipe, and always working. Get well soon:)

Melissa said...

wow, you are really sexual when you are sick.

slutty bitches. ;)

shortensweet said...

Being sick sucks. Yours is really hanging on. I wish I could give you some really great advice on how to get better. But I don't have a clue. Ask Dr. Mom

bunnyjo georg said...

ISA, ISE: Moms usually do know best. If I actually felt up to making the trek to the store, I might actually get those suggested items.

Melly: I don't mind wearing the shoe if it fits...

Shorty: Yeah, it's been 8 days and counting, but I am definitely on the mend now. Do yourself a favor and STAY HEALTHY. This is something you don't want.

DCveR said...

Orange juice or kiwis, for your 1g daily vitamin C fix (don't overdo it, too much is bad for your health too), lots of caffeine and some aspirin (yeah, it is better than those other things, tylenol and the likes are terrible for your liver and kidneys if taken for more than a couple of days).

Marcheline said...

Two words. Chicken soup.

Homemade, if you can get it. If not, packaged will do. Really, it works.

- M

the Dad. said...

Um, sorry about your being sick and all, but, don't you think your description of your various possible reactions and urges are somewhat, er, pornographic. Please remember how family-oriented the internet is supposed to be.

(ripping open your shirt, splashing water on your chest, fanning your skirt, sheesh, it's enough to gag your poor brother)

Roo said...

Sorry to read you are under the weather. Brian and I just went through a pretty bad case of it also. We are both on the mend. Until then I hope you get well soon.

bunnyjo georg said...

DCvR: I had been almost completely caffeine free until yesterday and wow...it really perked me up. Caffeine definitely has its place in the medicine cabinet!

Marcheline: Are you cooking? Because I am not! Seriously, though, I would have been glad to live on chicken noodle soup but alas, like old Mother Hubbard, when I went to my cupboard....

Ray: I don't know why it came out that way. After days and days and days of my body aching, my body temperature going from freezing chills to overheated constantly, the biggest difficulties I was having is soothing my skin and keeping it a comfortable temperature. It wasn't sexual impulse, honestly, it was a primal need to comfort all the things that were soooooo uncomfortable for so long. What I really needed was a massage and a fan. But who do I have to give me a massage? No one. As I sat here at my desk contemplating how much I needed the massaging action on my skin as I felt overheated as hell, the urge to do exactly what I put in my post came over me. And believe me, it had everything to do with just wanting to not feel sick anymore.

Roo: Cheers.

shortensweet said...

And how are you feeling now?

bunnyjo georg said...

Still wheezing and coughing and sounding like a roadhouse whore. My neck feels like a hot wire, it just squeals with pain every time I have a coughing jag. But...I think I am getting better, slowly but surely.

cindy said...

Laura, here is a great hillbilly remedy...

first, put on a tank top and shorts, no socks but do wear flipflops
2nd, run around your apartment building 3 times.

if you are wheezing and your lungs hurt, you will feel better in at least 3 days.

let me know if it works, i havent tried it yet but will if you get better.

cindy said...

oh, I forgot. you have to be holding a beer in one hand and a cigarrette in the other.

cindy said...

hey, Im so Angry guy, the seed extract is a great idea. my dad takes about a spoonful a day and he hardly ever gets sick. Although, he does take about 5 differ vitamins a day with his seed extract.

Laura, I really hope you get better, you know you are in my prayers.
:)

bunnyjo georg said...

Update: earlier this week I was diagnosed with pneumonia and bronchitis. Apparently the body-heat feeling is a symptom of pneumonia. Who knew? And here everyone just thought I was horny. Sha.