Monday, January 30, 2006
Revenge does a heart good
There are moments in life when we should just turn the other cheek. You know, like when your ex shows up unannounced and ruins your Christmas Eve. No reason to make a scene, just walk out and hope for a better holiday next year.
But sometimes someone does something that truly deserves a response in kind. Like the boss who promised a promotion only to give it ot a less qualified co-worker. Or a cheating significant other who gave you a social disease. Or maybe a neighbor who...well, you get the idea. Here is the ideal gift for all those deserving people on your shit list (Absolutely PERFECT for people who let their dog crap on other people's lawns):
DCvR, I think you've run into a few Customer Service Reps who have earned their own doggy doo!
If you have a more evil twist to your nature, you may enjoy a few of these bumper stickers which can be fertively applied without the car owner's knowledge. I found some great ones at ebay with the keywords "revenge bumper stickers." Stickers I'd love to see going down the road include (but are not limited to):
"Paycuts for cops"
"My other car is a broom"
"Driver is masturbating"
"I suffer from camel toe"
And for those that have challenged friends, you can give them the 411 at
For friends, neighbors and co-workers who have no concept of hygiene, you can send a happy gram containing soap, deoderant and the following letter (excerpt): http://www.thepayback.com/revenge-odor.html
Dear (whoever), . . .Your body odor is so foul that I would rather smell babies diapers for a living than stand next to you for more than 10 seconds. . . I do know where you are from, but in America we shower regularly and use soap-- please change your ways. . .
Even annoying co-workers can't get away with their tired ways once they receive a flyswatter and the following letter (excerpt): http://www.thepayback.com/joke-pest.html
Dear (whoever), . . .In life there are those of us that were not blessed with any social skills. You are one of those people. . . Talking to you is a complete waste of my time. . . Please think before you speak,. . .You will please everyone by keeping quiet and staying to yourself.
Now, if you are like my sometimes boss, Loyd or Eddie, you'll just sue everyone that dares to cross your path. But for those of us who'd rather just torture our achilles heel a little, a prank or two does wonders. Enjoy!