5 for a dollar macaroni and cheese. Buy one get one free packages of bologna. Endless plates of spaghetti. These and other culinary cheapies have left me feeling rounder, curvier and more tightly packed into my clothing. My boobs are happy, but the rest of me is groaning. It is time to place aesthetics over pricing, and stop pacing the bargain aisles in a mad search for high-volume, low-cost eating. And in doing so, I would like to say goodbye to the things I love, things that make my palate salivate. Little somethings I'd like to refer to as....tongue crack.
Goodbye, Burger King's Spicy Tendercrisp chicken sandwich. You make my eyes water.
Goodbye, Cherry Garcia icecream with Hershey's Chocolate syrup and maraschino cherries.
Goodbye, Famous Dave's BBQ cheddar bacon burger with the best fries on the planet. Guaranteed heart attack on every plate.
Goodbye, homemade southern Frito pie (Fritos corn chips and homemade chili smothered in cheddar cheese). Aka, how to get fat and really enjoy it.
Goodbye, Apple Avenue Cafe's stuffed hashbrowns. Many an ass you have widened.
Goodbye, BW3's Smoky Southwest buffalo wings. I've killed too many chickens as it is, thanks to your Two for Tuesdays special.
Goodbye, Cole's cheese garlic bread. You make my breath stink, but my tongue quiver with joy.
Goodbye, Dolly Madison's Raspberry Zingers. Best twinkie on the planet.
Goodbye, Papa John's pepperoni pizza and cheese bread sticks. Into a food coma you've ushered me on many an occassion.
Goodbye, homemade swiss steak. The best damn steak you'll ever eat.
Goodbye, Mexican Casserolle. Stroganoff. Pizza. French toast. Zupa Toscana.
Goodbye, all the comfort food in the world. It was nice knowing you. But you never tasted as good as thin feels.
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15 comments:
You know, you actually can eat great food and get thinner, it's all a question of balanced diet, exercise and good cooking.
Does ANYTHING about these foods appear balanced to you? LOL!! I come from a rather bad gene pool and have blood sugar problems as a result. Anything sugary or laden with carbs causes me to gain weight and go into sugar comas. Eating fruit, veggies and simple meat dishes keeps me healthy and nicely curvy, not overly curvy. As for good cooking, I'm trying to get isa, ise to come over and be my mail order bride and personal cook. Or maybe I'll just put out a personal ad like that one you ran across!
Did I say you could eat THOSE foods?
:P
smarty-pants
I'll take that as a compliment!
:D
(I can pretend to be naïf here cuz English is but a second language to me)
I just had an old favorite, toasted bagels with lots of cream cheese. MMMMMMMMMMMM.
eleven servings of blog spam isn't good for your nutritional needs either, bunny, I know you said you wanted to change your diet, but GOSH, these things are all just empty bytes! (get it?)
Don't tell Fritz.
What is the deal with your links? These constant changes are confusing! You're just trying to keep everyone from going to any other blog, aren't you?
Pathetic.
Oh, and 'radio call-in Jesus show'? That's unfair. Jesus hasn't left one comment on my blog.
Hey, he's right, why am I 'Family bliss sucks rocks'?
You've had dinner at my house and you know darn well we deep-fry rocks.
Yes, but after you deep fried the rocks, you sucked on them, right? slurp slurp
=)
I've been hit. The spammers have discovered my blog. I've deleted them for now, but if they become a problem I will have to dis-allow anonymous comments. Which would be a drag. I just love my anonymous comments! As long as it is not nasty blog spammers...blammers!
can't you just ignore them? we anonymous posters sometimes have things to say to you that we're frightened to say under our real identity's. For example, 'you ate a lot of crap.'
Hey thanx for the mail-order-bride thingey:) Ild gladly help out, but I dont think Im allowed to enter us at all, due to political activism, I can hardly travel europe...
But for food and pasta try this one;
Creamy baked macaroni and cheese:
(You could use non-vegan alts as well...)
-1/4 cup canola oil
-1/2 cup unbleached flour
-2 cups plain soymilk
-1 1/4 teaspoon salt
-1/2 cup grated cheddar-style soy vegan cheese
-1/4 cup bread crumbs (I make my own)
-1 pound tube shaped pasta
1)cook the pasta
2)prehaet oven to 375f
3)heat the canola oil over low-medium heat, slowly add the flour untill no lumps. Stir the soymilk and salt in slowly, untill creamy, then bring it to a boil. Let it boil while stiring for a minute. Turn down the heat and stir in the soycheese as well. This should turn out as a nice orange sauce.
4)place trhe cooked pasta in a casserole dish, and pour the cheese sauce over the pasta. Stir to coat all the pasta, then top it with bread crumbles.
5)Bake uncovered in oven for 10-12 minutes.
Voila! You have a healthy, tasty, and unexpencive dinner. This recipe gives 6-8 serves, but is easy to heat a couple of times. If you want less, just make half the recipe, but then you should check it while baking so it wont get burnt. Bon apetit:)
anon - I love you anon posters particularly because you can say whatever with the security of anonymity. I welcome debate!
isa, ise - thanks for the recipe! I'll give it a try. I know at least one daughter will looooove it!
I can cook the new Crunch-Wrap from Taco Bell. Actually I can't cook it, but I sure can eat it. With extra sour cream and cheese and onions. MMMMMMMM. Anybody wanna go to Taco Bell with me?
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