Did you know that human brains cannot accept two opposing ideas at once - it actually creates a type of crisis in the brain? There's a term for it, but I forget what it is. The brain is so unbalanced by the opposing thoughts it goes into crisis mode until it can resolve the conflict.
After all, our entire psychological safety is based on absolute concepts - up is up, down is down, gravity will always be there and the sun will continue coming up every day for the rest of our lives. Without these absolutes, which includes our ideas about what is right and wrong in love and relationships, our brains know that our physical, emotional or psychological well-being is threatened. That is why truth is so powerful and so important: it gives us the absolute safety from which we can function in our everyday lives.
And that is why lies are so damaging. For both the liar - especially for the liar - and the one being lied to, the absolute safety is threatened, and the brain is thrown into crisis. It is worse for the liar because the brain simultaneously knows the truth, and it knows the lie.
In order to rectify the crisis, the brain re-orders reality: "The lie was necessary because..." Or maybe it was close enough to the truth the brain accepts the lie as truth. Or maybe the brain alters memory so that it becomes truth.
However the brain resolves the crisis, morality is altered. Our lives become distorted and corrupt.
Unless...we allow our brains to admit it was a lie, we reject the lie, embrace the truth and declare it with our mouths and our actions. Then, crisis over, our brain is restored to stability and our morality not only remains intact, but is strengthened. We walk away from the crisis a stronger person, more trustworthy and better equipped to remain stable in our relationships.
I like this reality; it makes me feel better about the world. I like it because it tells me that no matter how bad the truth is, accepting it, declaring it and living according to it will bring me peace. And that is something worth writing about.