Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Just the important stuff, folks

Ok, people, I'm a-gonna rant here for a minute. Call it PMS, call it borderline personality disorder, call it feminine super-logic, but I am fed to the gills with stupid news. You know the stuff I'm talking about. It's that guilty-pleasure stuff that you peruse when you really should be working. Which, by the way, I am on lunch right now so I can legally in every way enjoy the guilty pleasure of ranting to you!

So, let the rantings commence!

First of all, if you are stupid enough to feed your cat 5 to 6 pounds of chicken and fish everyday, someone should lock you up not put you on the front page of the idiotic Japanese paper that published this picture. Looking for a little attention? Try getting a personality and let your poor cat alone. Sheesh!

Secondly, I don't care who made the best and worst dressed list at the Oscars. I don't care who showed up arm-in-arm together. I don't care who Joan Rivers insulted. These people's job is to make good movies, period. They need to just focus on that judging from the plethora of cinematic crap out there today. And besides, there happen to be bigger issues like oh, I don't know....killing arabs for cheap oil? Let's get our priorities straight, people. Once we quit killing people for little or no reason other than they don't like our God and happen to be pitching their tent on the largest oil reserve in the world, then we can worry about how Charlize Theron could look so damn happy with that ugly dress on (and it was hideous, doncha think?)

Here's one that should go without saying: the point of reporting atrocities such as the hate-mongers at the soldier's funeral is to hopefully discourage other would-be demonstrators and haters at future soldiers' funerals. Balance in journalism, hell! The only airtime those bigots deserve is the airtime it takes to announce their impending doom. Or something like that. Get 'em off the screen and go back to the best and worst dressed list. Cocks and bullocks!

Last but not least, here's my favorite: Oprah's Greatest Moments on DVD....because just seeing her for an hour and a half every day is not enough. Because having her name slapped all over every sappy memoir-cum-fiction is not enough. Because having dung-headed housewives TiVo-ing her show and then quoting her like the Goddamn Proverbs is not enough. We want to shell out $29.95 so we can relive those moments again and again.

God bless American Media.

Hey, I found a perfect picture of one o' them there air-sucking red-necks. Here, caught in the act of nostril-flaring oxygen boyfriend, The George.


shortensweet said...

I don't know why..things like that don't bother me. I just don't read them. Kinda like some things on your blog :)

DCveR said...

Well, guess by now you have a very acurate idea of where I stand regarding this oil war and the WMDs bullshit... still the only "airtime" I would give those hate-monger idiots was the amount of air they could keep in their lungs before the anchors on their heels started plummeting down... well, yeah, I know dumping waste at high seas is not very ecological but I wouldn't mind it just this once.

bunnyjo georg said...

Of course, Jamie, I wouldn't expect you to read anything you didn't understand.... :)

DCvR: If you're needing help getting that anchor-drop coordinated, you let me know, cuz I wouldn't mind polluting just this once, too!

Melissa said...

You are way off base with the Oprah comments. She is awesome, IMHO. She has the heart and the wallet of a true philanthropist. If only others would follow her example, the world just might be a better place.

I'm not a housewife but I tune into her show when I can. She certainly doesn't walk on water by any stretch of the imagination but she is a successful, itelligent and conscientious business woman and she is constantly striving to use her success to make the lives of many, many others better.

I think that makes for a positive role model for women everywhere.

Mom said...

For some reason I, too, have a disdain for all the woman stuff that is so-so-so focused on each nuance of each nuance of every minute quarrel with finding oneself, I just think this kind of crap sells more books than it does save women's souls and sanity. However, Oprah would be the exception simply because she practices what she preaches, and she does seem genuinely dedicated to helping others. My only other comment is that in this world we do need some lighthearted distraction, and to each his own. I would rather sit by the lake than see whose boobs showed the most on the red carpet. (It also helps to remember many big stars are very altruistic and genuinely try to make the world a better place, using their millions and their status.)

bunnyjo georg said...

Hey, Mel, the Oprah comment aside, that cat reminds me just a little bit of Bruce, doncha think?

Roo said...

the cat kinda reminds me of Odie

Melissa said...

Bruce is big....but he's not THAT big.

And I don't feed him 5-6 lbs of chicken and fish daily. As a matter of fact, he eats Iams "Weight Management" food. LOL

Chill Daddy said...

My attitude towards everything that bothers Bunnyjo: there's no point in caring.

It'll never get any better.

Our house is on fire so grab what you treasure most and let the rest burn.

Bonnie Blithe said...

okay, whatever...

Am I the only person in America who thought Kiera Knightley looked terrible ?!? Everyone is cooing about how funky she looked. ::sniff:: I say, Frumpy!!

bunnyjo georg said...

Melly: You are right. Oprah's done a lot of things that raises the bar for other celebrities. She's a good person. But a DVD of her best moments? I'm sorry...that's just tooooooo much. And no, Bruce isn't near that big. And he's a lot more lovable, too!

Mom: It's not whose boobs that showed on the red carpet that matters, it's how long they swayed in the breeze.

Roo: Yes, old Odie. I guess that self-feeder hadn't been such a good idea.

Chill: I kinda like your idea...grab what you treasure most and let the rest burn. That's actually a good philosophy to live by.

Bonnie: Oh, Kiera Knightly wasn't nearly as bad as Paris Hilton's peacock abomination. And she looked as wide as a whale, too. Ick!

V J.D. said...

I often rant to the GF about stupid news. It pisses me off when I hear gunshots outside my window and the news is spending all their time on how the fat cat found its way home after the owners left 3 years ago. It's worse when they air the story 3 times a day for 3 days, actually happens on the crappy news in Seattle. A good rule of thumb is to be ready to turn the channel when you hear the words "Remarkable Story" - which always preceed a fluff piece.

Roo said...

I agree I don't care who wore what to the oscars!!!!! I am no Oprah fan either. Finally another person out there who doesn't like her. YEAH!!!!

Roo said...

Chill until you have actually lived through a home burning you don't realize what you miss.

the only rhing I got out of the house were my children. They are everything. I tell you what the small things are what you miss. Like ultra sound pics, baby books, and things from relatives who have passed on. Yes, They are material things and not so important. when your child wants to know their first words, when they took they're first steps etc etc you realize somethings overlooked are important.

brian said...

Roo, you whine a lot.
I had a house fire and nobody brought marshmallows. Selfish jerks. Come watch my sweet bonfire and bring nothing to pass?

Besides the insurance agent said you could buy a new baby book for $3 at walmart, and yours wasn't new. Somebody wrote in yours, seriously affecting the marketable value.

...And what's the value of an ultra-sound picture? Nobody would pay for junk like that.

Besides, my sister would argue that children can be replaced. My comfy napping couch is gone forever!

brian, an actual funny guy- not like Darrin said...

Hey Laura

What do you call a dead fly?

A flew.

brian better explain that last one... said...

Did you get the joke?
You see, a dead fly would be past tense.
Therefore, fly = flew.
Fly would would be present tense, and flew is past tense.
The fly is dead so we use past tense.
The joke is funny because your brain is thinking of the 'noun' version of fly. That pesky annoying insect thing.
However, the joke turns into the 'verb' fly. See, that's how a joke becomes funny.

Ford: "It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
Arthur: "What's wrong with being drunk?"
Ford: "Ever ask a glass of water?"
Arthur: "Oh."

See that? That's just funny. I almost pee'd myself the first time I read that. (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

That dorky guy Jamie was hanging with should have asked what you call a dead fly. Then he would have been funny.

I don't know how to spell his name.

Anonymous said...

Brian you are such a dork. That joke wasn't that funny the first time how many times am I gonna have to read or hear it?

bunnyjo georg said...

Anonymous, I'd prefer it if you put your name to comments like that.

Roo said...

I'm anonymous

bunnyjo georg said...

Oh! Well, by all means....give it to 'im!

I just didn't want any anonymous people knocking my posters. I love youse guys!

Roo said...

He does deserve it he is a dork. I only whine because I feel like it.

Marcheline said...

Charlize Theron's dress looks like a great big "no sex" sign over her privates.

Um... bullocks are young bulls. So "cocks and bullocks" verbally depicts a barnyard scene.

Bollocks are... you know... bollocks.

Hee hee! Okay, kill me now.

bunnyjo georg said...

Marcheline: "Charlize Theron's dress looks like a great big 'no sex' sign over her privates." meeeoowww! Thanks for the laugh!