Friday, March 10, 2006
Suburbia hath descended.
As of 6:15 p.m. EST yesterday, the last vestiges of my youth, savoir-faire coolness and self-aggrandizing pride have left me. I have officially embraced The Man, The Establishment. I have surrendered the last of my bohemian nonconformity to the equanimity of sedate living. I am now a mini-van owner.
Leaving behind my panache for coupes, I have embraced The Bloat - I mean, The Boat. Always preferring the low center of gravity coupes, I whipped around curves and sped along the byways of life with all the va-va-voom of my highly passionate nature. Now, I gracefully ease along the road in my New Yacht. Docking is giving me a pain in the ass and reverse boating is proving to be somewhat of a challenge. However, I no longer have to climb through the window of my car like Daisy Duke. I no longer have to use this stick thingy to turn on my headlights. I no longer have to fear the front end of my car falling off every time I apply the brake pedal.
And the best part of all is I don't have a car payment. Did I steal this vehicle? Not really. I'm sure the dealer put some profit in his pocket, but I guarantee that if I sold this vehicle tomorrow I could make at least $500 bucks on it and still give the new owner a deal. Mmmm. Ain't cash purchase power grand?
tra-la-la-la.... (that's me singing a happy-mountain bubbling-brook song while I breeze along the path of life.....)
The only bad part is that now I can't make fun of all the gas-guzzling idiots cruising around with their kids bouncing around their vehicles because now that's going to be me. Hmph!