When Chris and I canoodle together for our soft mushy-mushy talks (which are a daily requirement, you see) I snuggle right up underneath his arm with my head resting just below his chin. When we look at each other, I lean my head back with his shoulder cradling me. It is the most cozy, safe and warm place in the world.
So one day we were snuggling like this as we normally do, I leaned my head back to look at him, and he said, "Wow, look at all that gray hair!" and we giggled together. I had seen a couple gray hairs over the past couple weeks, like two, so we had a good laugh about his "old lady."
I wasn't worried. I mean, I am 34 years old and with age come certain unavoidable eventualities like drooping boobs and gray hair. Since I haven't yet had to contend with drooping boobs (thank you, Lord!!!) I simply don't care about two little bitty gray hairs.
Until I walked into the bathroom today.
You know how it's sunny outside and the sun is just lighting up everything it touches? Well, as I'm standing in the bathroom at work washing my hands, I glance up at myself in the mirror (checking my lipstick - hellow!!!) and what to my wondering eyes do appear but some premature gray with 18 tiny gray hairs!
OMG, WHERE ARE MY TWEEZERS!?!?!?
In all honesty, I can't pluck those offending follicles. I'm getting too thin as it is. I shall have to....
Wash that gray right outta my hair!
I'm gonna wash that gray right outta my hair!
Just kill me now. Youth has fled. And I've got a mini-van to boot. Hmph!!
....Which brings to mind a funny conversation Melly Girl and I had about aging recently. I was explaining how I have super hairs that grow overnight. There is one that grows on my cheek and sometimes I find these fine long hairs sprouting about the ol' nipple region. I told her that as time goes by I am going to have to be more and more vigilant that I pluck those things out so they don't take over and make my boobies furry.
Otherwise, I said, I'll be giving a whole new meaning to the words "heavy petting." OMG, I really do kill myself!
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27 comments:
I get that one stray hair too..but the funny thing is, I never see it unless I'm in the car. So who knows how many times I've been out thinking I'm all cute with a long hair sprouting from my cheek.
Nice.
At least I don't have grays...yet
get tweezers your on you way to face tweezing moments, the older you get the longer the moments last in the sessions that are almost a fun time. Just as an ol tweezer like meeeeeee.
If it makes you feel any better Laura I've been washing the gray out since I was 16. I have had the Bonnie Raitt hair going on for awhile.
I've had some bad luck with girls and hair. One girl had a fine hair growing on the surface of her nose. I thought it was just a stray loose one that merely rested on her nose, but it was still there three days later.
I also dated a girl with harry nipples. She never plucked. That freaked me out worse than the nose hair. Yes, I'm certain she was a girl...at least pretty certain.
All of you kill me...so what...a few gray hairs...I would trade my sore hip and other age-related aches and pains for a few gray hairs any day! Now here is when you will really feel old...belly flap, butt sag, teeth that come out, turkey wings, saddlebags, wrinkles on your wrinkles, you don't have to go to the bathroom anymore because you constantly dribble into an adult diaper, bones that snap like pretzels, and being fed through a tube. Count your blessings, not your gray hairs.
Shorty: Oh, I can tell you, you do look cute with hairs sprouting out your cheeks. Like a little bunnyrabby.
Grandma: No offense intended, but I had always hoped I wouldn't have the same relationship with tweezers that you've cultivated over the years.
Roo: I didn't know you were a fellow gray-hair! Actually, I really like my gray hairs because they are quite white and excessively sparkly. But until I go quite, quite gray, I'm going to have to cover it. I think salt and pepper women look particularly gross.
VJD: Wow, you have had some bad experiences. Perhaps you should choose women with better hygiene. Here's a well-kept secret: most women pluck hairs out of their nipples and chins. We just don't talk about it so men don't get all freaked out like you did. But I don't care whatchy'all think of me, so I tell it all! ;)
mom: I thought you were talking about yourself until I got to the bone snapping part. Glad to know you're not wearing diapers yet. I'd just want to die if that is what I had to look forward to in my 50s!
This is all too icky, move on Laura.
I know. I had a sincere twinge of pity for you as I typed this post. Poor Chill Daddy having to read about his sister's boobies! Cuz he didn't know she had any. Comes as a complete shock that just may result in a psychologically-disturbing fugue state.
i think it's less the fact that you have boobies but more the fact that you have boobie hairs that is traumatizing to Ray.
What a horrible sister you are for buring that image of your boobie hairs into his mind which could possibly display itself at random moments throughout his days. I mean, I'd hate for him to be going on with his daily activities and then suddenly have his mind divert back to knowing you having boobie hairs. It would be like the trauma just keeps happening over and over again.
Kind of be like that time that he found out you don't mind sleeping in the wet spot.
being a (old) and grey adult is not that bad kids....you dont have to bow down to a boss or kiss anyones butt. Its really just life in a different phase and a greatful one at that. Mom said it all best.
I spent 3 hours and manymany dollars yesterday at the salon being made young again.... I look fabulous. As long as i stay out of broad daylight.
here's a booby hair story to horrify: i had a boyfriend who loved to, nay, INSISTED ON, being the one to nibble them off.
I thought it was sweet at the time... ew.
et tu bonn-ey?
Mel: OMG you made me laugh so hard I instantly peed my pants!!!!!! And I just went and checked and I have a wet spot (but my chair doesn't). I didn't even know I had to pee. Damn! Another joy of growing old. Although I have to say, I'm passing another kidney stone this week, so the plumbing's a little out of whack.
Grandma: I'm looking forward to that day when I don't have to kiss ass unless I WANNA kiss ass. Yeah, baby!
Ms. Blithe: Ew is right! What the hay was that guy thinking? Needing a little extra protein in his diet. Ew ew ew!!!
Chill: Don't act so surprised! Didn't you read what I said to VJD - it's a fairly common occurence. Especially because of all the hormones in meat nowadays. I'll bet women never had nipple hair until the modern chicken steroid was invented!
nice to see green grass in the neighbors yards...ours is full of sawdust. about two inches thick or more...hubby says it will grow grass soon..huh? anyway the tree is gone and its no worry to us now.
Good idea Grandma, change the subject...
We are getting green here too..it's about time :)
Well! I've never! Changing the subject on me just because I'm letting all my biological disfunction hang out....like you've never laughed so hard you peed your pants. Or plucked a nipple hair. Or counted grays. Ok, Jamie, apparently you haven't but that's just because you're blond. You'll be counting gray streaks by the time they become obvious. Dammit.
Didn't mean to warp the conversation, just had the notion to brag about the green grass and the budding trees that are so perfect and beautiful this time of year. Its eighty two degrees outside and we are haveing a cookout and have invited Van and Irene and her son ..it will be fun and jim can really cook those grill things, he knows how to flavor and just how long to cook so they are great. wished you were all here to enjoy
How does that saying go? "I'd rather dye than tell my age?"
According to my mother being old means you can say anything you want and get away with it.
I'm preferring the 'lawn' thread. Anybody that wants to can come and help me plant my lawn in two weeks.
BTW, don't you just hate bloggers who update less than once per week?
I do..then they ask for help with their lawn..I don't think so.
Besides, Mom is having a big party that day. (For real, she really is)
missy wilson....please blog...we miss ya.....
Ok, ok, I hear you. I've actually been sooo busy! I'm working at work (!) and at home... well....let's just say it's mighty cozy and happy. I just finished two articles for the Bay Window and am working on an article for PaceSetter magazine spotlighting my boss. But I'm actually working on a post that is near and dear to my heart (romance blah blah blah - skip it if you are faint of heart and think love stinks). So, I PROMISE I will blog something again soon. Sometime soon. ;)
Who cares about a couple of gray hairs?! It's a sign of maturity, you can't expect anyone to be wise without a couple of gray hairs! But why on earth do children always see more gray hairs on us than those the mirror shows?
And don't you even try to make fun of me: remember you are older than me and probably have twice as many gray hairs than I have!!!
Whoa, DCver is younger than us -- I did not know that.
He's always so wise and proper that I thought he was middle aged.
I can't outdo Bonnie's story, so I'll just say I'm getting greyer by the second ... everywhere.
Yup big guy! I am much younger than your sis here! 34 is old age! I'm only 33!!!
;)
Wow, I suddenly feel taller.
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